The walls are closing in, words are fading into thin air.

I wish someone could have warned me “the love you see on movies is not real”

I had high expectations, never left any room for imperfections, my mistake

Reckless love, it feels like a dream, an addiction

Even when I am breaking, I want more of that toxicity

I think about where it began, that crazy adrenalin running in my veins, the kind of love we have seen on the  big screen, the “Mr and Mrs Smith” love,  the “Crazy in love” that Beyonce and Jay sing about, I wont lie it had me intoxicated, the kind where I don’t ever want to be sober, I knew it was dangerous, surreal but it had become an addiction, it had become our coping mechanism, the more we indulged in it, the more we lost our identity.

We lost our minds too, somewhere along the line one of us took the other for granted, one of us thought they can do better, the grass is greener on the other side and they jumped in.

“Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know” and maybe that’s how we always found a way to each other, but I got tired living in hell, I got tired of fighting a different devil in a different level, I became the devil himself, smoke coming out of my ears every time you do the same thing that hurts, this is not the me I know, look what this reckless love made of me.