Those pieces, pick them up

It started here.

I asked God exactly why I had to be born in the middle of starvation, sad huh? years I have been carrying that burden and I wanted so bad to make up for all the times my family ever needed anything, that means providing. My dad is a great provider and as a first born, I wanted so bad to help him because two forces are better than one and besides, every good child wants to see happiness in their family, now you can imagine the pain I went through when interviews fail or applications get rejected, got suicidal and hurt so bad that I felt like I am not only failing myself but my family.

Never was I hateful or jealous of people who were born well off, I never really had the time to, all the time was focused on me and making something out of nothing , I hate no time to look at them and how the got the things they have or if their parents helped them financially, It didnt bother me, it has never so I thank God for giving me that heart however I did feel the heat, felt shame and occasionally…Useless

then it came here.

I felt different, actually I am different, I dont dwell in trends or find it cool to be funny while I am actually hurting other people or being offensive and all this was a problem to me as I was trying to find myself, why am I so laid back? so soft until I erupt? why am I so slow in keeping up on whats hot and happening.

It ended with.

I looked at myself few weeks ago and God have I damaged the Art you created in me trying to edit it with these filters, cropping myself to adjust to people, making homes in people..I should have known better that you dont create homes in people. I stood there feeling stupid, looking in the eyes of the woman I saw in the mirror, I hurt her so much. I could have let her go when she was telling me that she is hurting but I told her to hold on because I thought that pain is a part of happiness, I should have listened to her when she said she was tired, I drained her out and she was looking at me saying “Please, no more”.

Do not kill yourself trying to keep people alive, they wont even perform CPR when you are suffocating.

Finally, it begun again

I am not going to let myself break the way I did through the years and I was not aware trying to be superwoman, trying to make people see what a treasure I am, trying to fit in places that suffocate me, trying to be perfect for a world that is so imperfect, holding my true self away because its intimidating or not good enough for some reason to some people. I am a person who loves laughing and sometimes I dont and its okay, I am okay with myself and the God I believe in, I am okay with my birth marks or the home I grew up in, I am okay with my crazy laugh and my need to be something, I am okay with my brown skin and my uneven teeth, I AM FINALLY OKAY WITH MYSELF and it took me a while but I am not going back.

I found my super power and it feels amazing to be my hero, it feels good to be free from the shackles, to know my demons and give them a fight, to have absolute freedom in who I am, to work on myself everyday, thats the best thing I can do for my family because with being in peace with myself, I open my mind to possibilities, strengths I never imagined that I have and thats a blessing to my family. You are not to blame for what broke you but its your fault if you stay in broken pieces.

Different? thats okay

I usually get “Are you sure you are from around here?”when I am home, I used to feel a certain way about it, how is it people around the area I grew up in don’t know me? it doesn’t end there, people I went to High School with don’t remember me, those who do, GOD BLESS YOUR HEART because I was the quiet one walking down the corridors, the short, dark skinned, no fashion sense, very dull learner, that was me and amazingly I was okay with it maybe because I knew there is so much more in me and I am there to prove it or maybe because I WAS JUST DIFFERENT and I realised there is nothing I can do about it.

After High School came Tertiary, wow, I really had it tough, book worm, part time student, full time employee, TIRED… tired everyday and nailing my exams but I came out, became more in love with myself the way I am, around my close friends I swear I am funny but in a room full of people I am just a weirdo, when I do presentations I am a fireball but in public events I am the one who goes home before 22:00 to hang with movies and popcorn… In class I ask questions, I am the spokesperson but come lunch, I have 2 male friends and no contact with female species because I dont get them, those I used to get just had other topics to talk about and I dont indulge in them because I AM TIRED so I was boring.

2 years down the line I realised that I have to work twice as hard than the average student because my bank account couldn’t afford to have me relaxing and my surname doesn’t hold many connections, Imagine what that does to an introvert, you become more introverted hence I am so inexperienced in so many things, I had to be forced to focus, less on the world and more into building a life and at 22, that is not easy. Its at that age when I realised that I AM OKAY BEING DIFFERENT, I became tired trying to figure out whats wrong with me, why many things that interest people dont interest me, that I have picked my poison and its getting education, working, building an empire from the ground (Still working on that even today) and for fun, I rather watch Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy’s stand up comedy, horror movies or documentaries, not that I didnt want to go out and be savage or there is something wrong with that but its not me.

There is nothing wrong with who you are and what you love, there nothing wrong in being different and thats why we have different talents and if its art that you love then be it, live for it, love art with all your heart, if you are a weirdo, be the best weirdo you can be and if you feel so different that no one understands you, take time with those who do, dont rush in building relationships with people who dont accept you for who you are just dont be a narcissist, that now everyone has to bow down and adjust themselves to your character or traits.

Loving myself for who I am is an everyday process, accepting who I am and where I come from is something I learn everyday, that I want to heal from in certain parts and that I want to make better with all my heart and accepting people around me for who they are is also something I try to do everyday, I am a working progress but in love with my flaws

A little Sunshine or Selfshine

I am not sure how this day will end but I am sure that I will start it with hope. I have learned that when life feels cloudy and stormy, when you have reached rock bottom, when there is absolutely nothing to look up for, when you feel cold and alone in a room full of people, all you need to do is allow your selfshine when there is no sunshine. You allow your selfshine by understanding that everything you are going through is not permanent, even if it hurts like hell, even if it wakes you up in the middle of the night with tears in your eyes, it will pass and you will feel the Sunshine. Your Selfshine is the strength that made you wake up and show up even when you wanted to stay in bed all day, your selfshine is the strength you have to smile when all inside of you is falling apart, your Selfshine is the ability to have faith that one day you will feel the sunshine. Pain is also a reminder that you feel, its a reminder that you care, its a reminder that you are alive its also a reminder that you are strong because if you can feel it, go through it, survive it and tell stories about then you are above it and that is your selfshine.

Maybe parts of you are tired right now, maybe hope is fading away right now, maybe your faith is tested right now, maybe suicide thoughts are all you hear in your mind right now, maybe you feel alone, everyone you came through for dont even know your name when you need them most but you are light, allow your selfshine, DO NOT STAY THERE TOO LONG

My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

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The way everything feels

I just wrote something as I sit and enjoy the rain from my balcony. I welcome you to the month of Love, one of my favourite months because 1, my name means love and my bestie, God is love 2, red is one of my favourite colours and it’s scattered all over in this season 3, February is after January, so my mind is a bit settle into the year, January anxiety is fading!

Anyway, enjoy ….

The way everything feels

I love the stars,

how they glitter at night,

unafraid of the dark,

still choosing to shine

when everything else is quiet.

I love the wind before the rain,

the soft, cold massages on the skin,

as if the air itself is embracing you,

whispering that everything

is going to be okay.

I love volcanoes and how they erupt,

reminding us that even the calmest beauty

carries a wild heart,

that nature can be gentle

and still be fierce.

I love the smell of rain

when it kisses the ground,

promising new beginnings,

scary, changing, uncertain,

yet always beautiful to witness.

I love diamonds,

how they endure refinement,

how they survive pressure

just to become light

you can hold.

I love what music does to the soul,

how for a moment

words disappear

and sound becomes memory,

rhythm becomes feeling.

I love how everything feels.

But most of all,

I love how I am going to love you.

Because somehow

nature itself arranged our meeting,

selected us,

refined us,

led us through darkness

so we could learn how to shine

toward each other.

So we could hold one another warm

when the world feels cold,

massage each other with love,

and remember

it is a beautiful world,

and I want you

to be part of it with me.

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New Bod

I think me and my body are in sync now, of course I am not yet where I want but I am glad we made progress, we are healthy, we drink water, we work out… these are the results

I am still 154cm tall, thought that would change, I’ll be taller but it’s okay

Finna focus on my thighs, they tone up instead of decrease anyway, we worked on the waist and now we need to work on legs too, want those Ciara’s (have you seen Ciara’s legs? 🤯amazing I tell you )

Like I said, we are working on the thighs, after the thighs, legs , we focus on the back and arms
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New Years Resolution

“If I could have anything, let it be Your eyes on me.

Every time I catch Your gaze, my world starts changing.”

There is a part in the song that says, “Holy and acceptable to my King, I want to be an offering.”

Honestly, I have wanted many things growing up, and when I finally got some of them, none fulfilled me the way I expected. I am little grown woman now, well a lot more grown than I’d love to admit and I realise, all I want is the peace that comes with Christ. Have you seen the world lately? Nothing feels the void people are feeling, nothing heals the trauma they are facing, no one speaks the words people are expecting so they go around searching for answers in the wrong place, they become angry, bitter and fight each other, I am grown now and I realise all I ever needed was God, the wisdom that comes with Him, His son Jesus who is my King, the Holy Spirit, my comfort, friend and prayer partner! I was laughing in my prayer this morning that “Wow God, I am such a fighter you had to pull all the stunts to make me realise that all I ever wanted was you, I get it now thank you, after putting a fight of my life, I get it and now all I want is you” 

I wanted help even when I did not know how to ask for it. Most help came at a cost. The only help I never had to repay came from above.

I wanted acceptance, to be loved without condition. But love in this world is rarely free. We pay for it in ways we do not always notice. Yet He loves me simply because He made me. He sees the very things people saw when they thought, “She is too hard to love,” and He still chooses me every single day.

I wanted a car and I realised how easily four wheels can take you out of this life. But by His grace, His grace alone, they carry us from place to place without spitting us out because He is in it. A career that so many people stab each other to climb on top, I am not a backstabber, I’m not made like that, I maybe a little hyperactive but I want to do things the right way and that seems like a way most people don’t like so I want what God wants. 

Do you get it? Do you understand that nothing works without Christ? 

I am a different woman now. You have noticed the constant posts about God. Some of you may miss the old content about everything but Him. But He is everything. I will not seek anything apart from Him. I want Him dwelling in all that I desire because if He is not in it, it will fail. When you get God, you get everything.

It was hard for me to let go of the need to always show up strong even when I was dying inside. It was hard to release hyper independence and the need to control everything because I believed if I placed things in people’s hands, they would fail me. At least if I failed myself, I could say I tried… people don’t even try, they fail you naturally, like breathing, they don’t fail in failing you… at least that was my realist, something I knew that I GOT ME! 

What I did not realise was that I had placed God in the same category as humans and doubted Him based on my experience with people. 2025 taught me to let go. Nothing is permanent but God.

Welcome to the year of God. 

Yes, I declare this year as THE YEAR OF GOD,may astrology call it the year of the cow, the monkey, the horse, I don’t care about it! I don’t believe in divination anyway.

You will be victorious. You will be undefeated as long as you release the need to control and fix your eyes on what King Jesus can do, which is far more than you ever could.

I am a woman of God first. See that before you see anything else. I could be many things, but I choose to be a child of God, chasing His righteousness. I do not care to blend in. Make me different, God.

And that is my New Year’s resolution.

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Anointed, Not Lucky: My Year of Exposure and Grace.

It’s been an honour, truly, to witness this year come to an end. I am convinced, deeply convinced, that I am God’s favourite child. I have always known that God does not play about me, but this year revealed the magnitude of His hand over my life. God is not to be messed with when it comes to me. I almost died this year, multiple times, and it would have been a tragedy, but God had different plans.

Sometimes God allows things to happen so that His glory may be revealed, and for His glory, I will stand here and say that there is no other God like my God.

This year, I had so many close calls with accidents that at one point I had to stop my car and thank God. So many people were exposed. People I thought were friends. People I believed had my back. God knows conversations I was never present for. He sees everything, He knows everything, and He stood on my behalf.

When the truth was finally exposed, I understood why I stand out. I was ashamed to admit it because it felt like I was bragging. It felt like I was being extra, extreme, and that I should simply be humble. But the truth remains. I am a smart woman. I am an amazing woman inside and out. I am strong. I am kind. I am gentle. I am loving. I am a whole bag, with a few pockets full of gold.

I make people uncomfortable, and now I understand why I never blended in. I am anointed. I am rare. And everything that was exposed about what people said and did only taught me one thing. I will never dim my light.

This year, I also fought an intruder. A man broke into my home with the intention to cause havoc. I had to make several safety changes after that encounter. Remember when I said God does not play about me. I walked away from that fight with only a scar on my hand and broken furniture. As for him, I am certain he will never again underestimate any woman on God’s green earth.

Although I survived, there are moments when sudden noises still frighten me. It took time for my sleep to return to normal. Nonetheless, I remain grateful to be alive. This was no coincidence. God did not preserve me for convenience. He preserved me for purpose. I trust that, in time, I will understand why my existence stirs so much reaction from different people.

As this year closes, I want to wish you a new year filled with gentleness where you have been bruised, strength where you have been stretched, and peace where you have been weary. May the year ahead restore what was taken from you quietly. May it heal the parts of you that never found the words to speak. May you walk into rooms without shrinking, love without fear, and rest without guilt. I pray that what survives with you into this new year is only what God Himself approved. May you be protected in ways you will never have to find out about, and may grace speak for you even when you are silent.

I pray you don’t get to do this life alone, that God, who is all giving and very gracious will give you a partner who will not stand behind you, in-front of you but by your side. Life is hard, may He grant you someone who will worship and fast for you in the storms and celebrate you when you’ve won. I speak of this because I’ve seen social media go crazy over couples this year, so many couples were attacked, others I know didn’t make it and it broke my heart as some met when I was around, I’m a bit of matchmaker myself 🥰🥰and I witnessed them making vows not to leave each other. A friend of mine lost her husband too and it was heartbreaking watching her grief and pick up the pieces, so I pray that the love that finds you stays with you till you’re old, wrinkly with no teeth, death will do you part. A lot of people are curious about my love life, I’m still not married, still without a child, I speak on love and marriage because many hearts are attentive to the subject. God is the author of love and the keeper of timing. Marriage is not a race, and love is not a reward for being early. It is a calling that God releases with intention, not pressure. When God gives love, He gives it with wisdom, with covering, and with purpose.

God knows the hearts of His children. He knows our desires, our wounds, our prayers spoken and unspoken. He knows what kind of love would build us and what kind would break us, and He is faithful enough to withhold what is premature and generous enough to release what is perfect. What appears like waiting is often God protecting the depth of love He intends to give.

To those seeking love, be at peace. Love that comes from God does not arrive in chaos or confusion. It comes with clarity, safety, and alignment. It does not require you to abandon yourself, lower your standards, or negotiate your worth. God is not careless with hearts. He does not rush unions that He has not yet finished shaping. Trust that if God can form the heart, He can also form the timing.

Do not worry about the things God has already claimed authority over. Love is one of them. Marriage is one of them. God is able to orchestrate encounters, heal hearts, and unite souls without strain or striving. When the season is right, love will meet you where you are, not where society expects you to be. It will recognise you because God introduced you long before you even met, rest your heart.

Timing is a sacred language that God speaks fluently. What looks slow to people is often precise to God. Good things are not withheld from those who walk with Him; they are prepared. God is deliberate with seasons, and He does not release blessings into chaos. When the time is right, doors open without force, answers arrive without confusion, and favour meets you where you stand. Good things are not a possibility in God. They are your portion.

So do not rush what God is still aligning. What is meant for you will not miss you, and what is not meant for you will not be able to stay. Trust that God is arranging details you cannot see and protecting outcomes you have not yet imagined. In His timing, goodness will meet you fully formed, and when it does, it will be evident that it arrived exactly when it was supposed to.

Rest, please rest in His faithfulness. If my life was on the line I will still give my last breath standing on this fact; GOD WILL NEVER FAIL YOU! Go again, go try again! Go do it again… go win

I am blessed to serve a God who is jealous over me, who guards me fiercely, who does not allow harm my way, and who permits pain only when it is meant to refine me. If there is one thing I will never doubt in this life, it is His presence.

Let’s meet again next year

(Yes, I will still be about Christ) 

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Inherited Violence Ends With Me

You’ve been wondering if I ever forgave you.

If I’ll ever text or call.

It probably feels unreal that I haven’t.

You thought I’d come running back, like I always did after your disrespect.

I know it shocked you.

You didn’t expect silence to sound this loud.

But I’m not your mother.

I don’t take abuse and wear it like a crown just to keep a man’s surname.

You treated me the same way your father treated your mother.

The only difference is, she gave him children and I didn’t.

And that’s my freedom.

Because I could never let my kids watch me fight your demons,

like she fought his,

thinking she owed you something

for the pain she never deserved.

I hope you heal. But not for me.

For the next woman you think you can break.

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What a God, What a God

It’s been more than a minute, hasn’t it?

I’m not even sure if I should explain myself or just keep living my life and let you see for yourself why I’ve been quiet. The evidence will start showing soon, lol. No, I’m not pregnant, hahaha, and no, I’m not married yet. But I’m finally enjoying the beautiful fruits that have grown from the prayer seeds I planted a while ago.

It’s true what they say, time really does belong to God. When you finally reach that place where He wants you to be, you realise that the blessing actually needed you to grow. If He had given it to you at the time you were asking for it, you probably would have destroyed it because you just weren’t ready.

Let me stop with the theatrics.

What a God! What a God!

I just wanted to come back here to remind you that God loves you. He is a good God. May you experience Him deeply. I pray that you encounter God for yourself in such a real and personal way that you can boldly say, “Truly, God has revealed Himself to me.”

May He prove Himself great and mighty in your life. May He touch your heart, heal your wounds, restore your dignity and enlarge your territory. May the God I serve honour you. May He place you in positions of influence and grant you the favour to lead with wisdom and grace.

May you have the strength to trust Him even when you don’t understand His plans. Always remember that His plans for you are good, to prosper you and to give you a future filled with hope.

I pray that you remain safe and protected under His powerful hand. May your family always have reason to celebrate and enjoy good health. May you grow strong and wise, and may your source of income never run dry. Let the works of your hands multiply.

I came back to pray for you, child of God, especially if you’re tired today, feeling anxious or even suicidal. Your Father is right there with you. Allow Him to guide you. Let Him lead you. He will never send you astray.

Give God the battle now, because He never loses.

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I lost and it feels good

Today I ma in my work uniform, yes I am wearing Corporate clothes, my navy blue corporate dress, my black top and navy blazer and I have lost weight, my waist is snatched and my hips don’t lie, let me tell you, lol, I feel bad for saying this especially on this here platform but my booty is like 2 planets, YES INDEED! my booty is growing and I love it. I thought its all in my head until 3 people said “Wow, your body” hai hai hai, FIRE! I am happy fam, I’ve been dieting, I’ve been skipping rope, I take walks and I was so disappointed when I discovered that I only lost 1kg, last week I lost 1 kg again and I dont like these ones I keep getting but I am glad its showing.

Thats it, thats the post, I lost weight

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You inhabit my poems

You have become the quiet question lingering at the edges of their thoughts, a presence too sacred to name, too alive to ignore.

They sense you in the clarity of my skin that now seems to hold light instead of history, in the way joy curves at the corners of my mouth like it was born there, and in the way my body moves like it has been rewritten by a man who knows how to hold something sacred without breaking it.

They do not ask about you directly, not because they do not want to know, but because something about you feels too spiritual to handle with casual conversation.

So they watch instead, trying to make sense of the new rhythm in my steps, the softness in my laughter, the grace in my silence.

And in their watching, they wonder what kind of love would move a woman to carry herself like a prayer answered in full.

So I place you gently into the folds of my poetry, not to hide you but to honour you in a way the world does not deserve yet.

I invite confusion like incense, thick and lingering, let their curiosity circle me while they try to trace the shape of you between my metaphors and metaphysical hints.

They ask themselves quietly, does someone hold her when the dark feels too heavy to bear alone, does he know how often her mind runs ahead of her heart and stay anyway, does he pray for her, does he speak to her gently even when the world forgets she is tender?

They read my words like scripture, searching for a slip of your name or a glimpse of your form, hoping for the soft launch of your hand in a photo or a sentence that reveals the curve of your voice.

But you are already written in the bones of every verse I’ve ever breathed, present in the pauses, the silences, the breath between words where your spirit lingers quietly.

You are the unspoken rhythm in my stanzas, the unseen presence that steadies me when the world tries to pull me apart.

You are the echo of my joy, the balm in my unraveling, the soul behind every strength I try to name.

Your love shows up not in grand declarations, but in the quiet ways you remain, even when I flinch, even when I falter, even when I forget that I am worthy of something that stays.

You have stood beside the breaking of me not as a man trying to rescue what he does not understand but as someone who has looked into the chaos and chosen to love me there.

And though I often write about you as if you are distant, the truth is you have never once let me feel alone in the places I fear the most.

You once told me that your love is loud, that it wants to be seen and heard and named in public spaces, that it wants to take up space beside me where the world can see us and know that this is what prayer answered looks like.

But then you looked at me with eyes full of understanding and said that if I am not ready to live that out loud, then you will wait with me in the quiet, that your love will never ask more of me than I am ready to give.

I know those words came with the weight of silence pressed against your throat, like glass crushed in the mouth, but still you kissed my forehead and chose patience over pride.

And I do not know how to tell you that it is not shame that keeps me quiet, but reverence, that I want to protect what we are because the world is careless with sacred things.

I want you to myself, not in secret but in intimacy, in a space where there is no performance, only truth, only presence, only you and I in the fullness of our becoming.

You do not allow the world to touch what we have with dirty hands or careless tongues, and for that I love you more than words will ever reach.

You stand before me when storms rise, not as a shield but as a promise, as someone who has decided that our love is worth defending even when no one is watching.

And now I write about learning to be open, to be soft, to let the past go quietly and receive love without suspicion, but they do not know that it is your hands that have taught me how to do that.

I write about the goodness of God and the depth of His mercy, but they do not know that it is you who brings our names to the altar when my lips cannot form the prayers, that it is your faith that holds us steady when mine forgets how to stand still.

You breathe them into being, inhale my fear and exhale it as courage, take my shame and return it as grace, hold my insecurities and hand them back to me as wonder. You make me feel not just beautiful but known, not just wanted but chosen, not just seen but deeply understood in the places I have spent years hiding. You do not merely inspire my words, you live inside them, you haunt the syllables in the holiest way, you are the breath in every beat of rhythm I lay down.

And when they ask who I write for, who has made me this woman of light and softness and strength, I say nothing.

Because some names are not meant to be spoken.

Some names are meant to be lived.