Tag: healing

Posted on

Beating the Allegations: A Guide to Loving Your Scars and Your Struggle-Beard

“Am I the drama?” Look at you asking questions when the answer has been obvious all along. Yes. Yes, you were not only the drama, you were actually the whole problem. Good thing you changed.

I have realised that life will often throw you curveballs that make you question your entire existence. One minute you are fine, next thing you are doing a full audit of your personality like “wait, am I even the drama?” You realise quickly that not everything is what it seems and suddenly you are having an identity crisis. A proper one. We meet people in this life where some see us as a massive blessing while others see us as a threat to their peace. Which is funny, how are you disturbing someone just by breathing and minding your business?

To those who see you as a blessing, you pour into them and they help you trust and flourish. Those are the beautiful connections that do not just take your energy but actually top up your tank. This is where you feel happy and whole and you think “life is actually sweet” until the contrast enters the chat like an uninvited cousin at a family braai, then come the “lessons.” These are the people who make you question your worth and your goodness. Honestly, these people make you understand why movie villains exist. You start watching Marvel Infinity War with sinister thoughts, thinking, “you know what, Thanos had a point.” They make you want to start your own villain era, soft launch it and gradually one snap of your finger, they are gone. You start wondering if justice even exists in this world or if it is just vibes and disappointment. And the worst part? These are not just strangers. They can be your family, your close friends, your confidant, or that childhood bestie you grew up with, the one who knows your primary school crushes and still chooses chaos.

Unfortunately, as we grow up, we realise that people can leave you, betray you, or do you dirty. Proper dirty. But listen, it is not a “you” thing, it is a “them” thing. I know it sounds like something people say just to comfort you, but sometimes people are just chaotic for no reason. You might spend years trying to heal from their nonsense just to trust again, but at the end of the day you have free will. You can choose to heal or stay salty. And let us be honest, staying salty is tempting, but it is exhausting. Your spirit gets tired.

It is so easy to forget who you are when you are out here fighting demons or the ghosts of your past. Emotional load shedding, basically. It is easy to forget that you are a whole gold mine when you have dealt with people who did not see your value. Imagine being gold and someone treats you like loose change. The disrespect. Maybe the love story ended in tears and now you are a single parent trying to navigate a dating pool that is basically a toxic waste site. Even the lifeguards have resigned. When you have given your “prime” years to someone who took your best and left you feeling empty, you feel like you are not the woman you used to be. Now you are guarded and careful and loving you requires a whole lot of reassurance, like terms and conditions and probably a background check.

I am sorry it hurt so much. I am sorry you gave your best intentions and were met with zero sacrifice, like you were giving “wife of the year” energy and they were giving nothing. I know those mornings where you have to literally drag yourself into the shower just to show up for life. I know those nights too, the ones where you are tired but your brain says “no babes, we are overthinking today.” Just last year I found out someone I called a sister was busy manufacturing the wildest lies about me, like full production with no budget cuts. I make it sound okay now because I am typing from a place of “Lying about me made you relevant for a little while, you needed me to finally feel heard” and forgiveness, so the hurt is not sitting in my grammar anymore. You will not feel the pain in these lines as I refuse to let that trauma transfer to my future. It is a choice. Not an easy one, but a necessary one. Whatever you choose, please know that your inner battles do not make you any less of a legend.

There is nobody like you. Yes, even if I knew the things you know about yourself, i would still believe that no one compares to you, no one can walk into a room and take charge like you do. Main character energy, no auditions needed. No one can hold a conversation like you do, you make people feel comfortable, at first you seem too good to be true, and then they realise through you, that God doesn’t run out of good people. no one laughs like you , hug, or love the way you do. Even if you are a “work in progress,” you are still a blessing. Under construction, but still a whole building. Man, they should have seen you when you were in love. You were glowing, you were soft, you were doing the absolute most in the best way, it may feel like that has changed but thats something not even betrayal can write off. You might be in a “reconstruction” phase right now, but they should have seen you when you felt safe and appreciated. You moved differently back then, like you owned happiness.

Yes, you are different now because we always have to go back to the drawing board to reinvent and heal. And let us be real, healing is messy. Some days you forgive yourself for allowing that disrespect, and other days you are lowkey plotting their downfall in your head. Not actioning it, just brainstorming 🤣🤣. Boy oh boy, when you decide to make someone feel special, you really go all out. Full package, no half measures, you still do but now with caution… just take your time, there’s nothing broken here. You are still a wonder, after everything you have been through; there is still hope in your breath and forgiveness in your bones. When they expect you to go full villain, you beat the allegations and turn out even better than they wanted. Imagine disappointing your enemies by being healed. Love that for you.

There is no one like you, even with the scar on your chest or your uneven eyes that you try to hide in pictures. Please, those angles are working overtime for no reason. My brother, even with that receding hairline and that beard that has been struggling to connect since the 1900s, we have been rooting for it, there is no one like you. Your little lisp when you speak is actually beautiful. The way your words come out with that little twist is enough to set anyone on fire. Proper signature style. tjhesa!

You are amazing even with your past and the times you knew better but still did the opposite. Because sometimes we all ignore common sense like it is a WhatsApp notification. It all adds to the vibe of who you are. You grew from it and now you are levelled up. Not perfect, but upgraded. Sometimes we focus too much on the missed dreams and the people who left us, measuring ourselves by our “shortfalls.” Like we are marking ourselves with a red pen. We forget to see the person who is busy learning and unlearning every day. That is a beautiful place to be. To live through the fire, get burned, get healed, and come out the other side scarred but whole again. Not what you were, but something stronger.

Posted on

I disappeared. I know.

Not in a dramatic, vanish into the forest kind of way. More like the kind where life quietly stacks responsibilities on your shoulders until even opening WordPress starts to feel like a meeting you forgot to prepare for. If the internet had a missing persons bureau for bloggers, I am fairly certain my face would have been on a digital milk carton by now.

Somewhere between then and now, life did what life does best. It moved. It stretched me. It humbled me in ways that were not scheduled and definitely not convenient. Between trading my renter badge for a homeowner title, which is essentially just a fancy way of saying I now have a very intimate relationship with bank fees, bond costs, and things breaking at the worst possible time, and navigating the professional hustle, I have lived a lot in this silence.

The Sacred and the Human

There were moments where I thought I understood exactly where my life was going, only for God to gently but firmly remind me that understanding is not a requirement for obedience. My relationship with Him has shifted from a Sunday morning check in to a daily dependence. Not perfect, not always polished, but deeply real.

There was also a situation with a pastor that shifted something in me. I will not go into details, but it was one of those experiences that forces you to separate God from people. It taught me that faith must be anchored in Him and not in human vessels, no matter how respected or anointed they appear. It was uncomfortable but necessary. I came out of it more grounded, more discerning, and strangely, more at peace.

The Master’s and the Mess

Academically and professionally, things have demanded more of me. My postgraduate studies continue to be the uninvited guest at every dinner party, the one that refuses to leave and somehow always needs attention at the worst time. Pursuing a degree while navigating a shifting workplace has taught me that resilience is often just a polite word for surviving on caffeine, prayer, and pure willpower.

But I have also laughed. A lot more than I expected, actually. Life has a way of being unintentionally funny when you stop trying to control every outcome. There were moments where all I could do was look at my situation and think, “Yo, this is not what I ordered, but let me eat it anyway.” And somehow, I did.

The Plot Twist in the Waiting

If I am being completely honest, part of why I stayed away was because I wanted to come back with something polished. Something that made the silence make sense. Something that looked like a neat before and after. But life is not always wrapped up that way, and neither is growth.

There is a specific kind of power in navigating the world as a solo act for a long season. It has been a time of deep refinement where I realised that being whole on my own was never about closing the door forever. It was about making sure that when the right story finally begins, I am a woman who already knows her worth, her voice, and her standards.

Lately, I have felt a shift in the wind. A quiet sense that things are aligning in ways I cannot fully explain yet. The wait has been long, and at times uncomfortable, but I am starting to see that delays are not always denials. Sometimes they are preparation.

The Verdict

So, where am I now?

Domestic status: Managing my own castle. It turns out adulting is ten percent decorating and ninety percent wondering why lightbulbs, plumbing, and literally everything else are so expensive.

Academic standing: Still wrestling with the thesis. We are currently in a toxic relationship, but I am determined to get the degree in the divorce.

Current state: I have been living. I have been learning. I have been stretched. I have been refined. And more times than I can count, I have been held together by grace.

I am moving from a phase of just surviving the day to actually owning the room. I am learning that I do not need to have every single answer to be the leading lady of my own story. I am not perfectly consistent, and I am still figuring things out, but I am present. And right now, that matters more than perfection.

And as for what is on the horizon? Let’s just say the scenery is starting to look very promising. Sho, it is about time.

Here’s to the plot twists, the quiet growth, and the glow ups that did not need an audience to be real.

Posted on

Suicide Note

Ladies and gentlemen, lets gather here to pay our last respect, to all the things holding us back, may they rest in peace…

but first…..

I’ve been thinking about everything I was able to do this year, the things I never thought I would feel and the things I have learned not to feel. It has been a long journey of self-discovery, and I am proud of myself for how far I’ve come. Of course, I didn’t do it alone. I cannot take the credit; all the glory goes to God. Even though there are things I didn’t receive and places I didn’t reach, I remain hopeful. And though some dreams were delayed, I am still grateful.

This year brought me through so much, from surviving an accident to relocating, navigating academics, and experiencing spiritual revival. I’m most proud of allowing myself to truly feel this year. Yes, believe it or not, I allowed myself to feel, and what a rollercoaster ride it’s been. But here I am, standing, and I’m glad to announce that I do, in fact, have a heart, and it still works. It feels emotions I don’t even have names for.

This year, I fell in love. I faced my anxiety head-on. I discovered who I am outside of anyone else’s validation or feelings toward me, and I stuck to it. I fell in love all over again with my dreams, my passions, and my faith. For the first time, I embraced my feelings and learned that it’s okay to have them.

Since 2020, my timeline has been a blur. Those years, 2020 to 2022, felt like I was on life support, alive but not truly living. I could hear everything around me but had no control over my life. Those years were about healing and discovery, though not all discoveries were easy or pleasant. I uncovered things about myself that broke me and brought me to my knees. Those revelations led me to surrender, to open myself up to God completely, and He showed up for me in ways I never expected.

2023 became a year of stepping out of healing and stepping back into life. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t know how or where to start allowing new things into my life as I transitioned into adulthood. So, God did what only He could: He separated me from a lot, from toxic bondages, friendships, and habits. He gave me the courage to attend therapy, and through that, I began to discover a version of myself that I truly love.

The people who met me this year met the best version of me, and it’s only the beginning. I’m proud to say I am at a good place. I love the reflection of prayer and healing that I see in myself. I’m not perfect, and I don’t aspire to be. What I aspire to is being happy and at peace with myself. God spent so much time with me this year, reminding me that there is nothing wrong with me. I am His perfect creation.

Now, back to murder: killing things that really need to be buried…

I’ve stayed too long in situations where I was mistreated. I’ve accepted countless apologies and taken people back who fumbled me, but not anymore. I’ve learned that I don’t have to. Love stays, it doesn’t leave and expect to be taken back. And I am learning not to go back either. If you give me a day to live, to tackle life without you, to figure it out on my own, then I will, even if it breaks my heart. And when I do, I won’t come back and you don’t have a right to ask me how did i survive or what did the sharks do to me when you left me in the middle of the ocean to drown, leave me alone like the way you did, it should be easy, right? you’ve done it before… stay away

This year, I also returned to Potchefstroom, a city I once hated, a place that felt like a prison for two long years. Those years were filled with nightmares, a toxic job, and an abusive relationship. I stayed in both, believing I didn’t deserve better. But this year, I went back not to relive the pain but to reclaim my power. I shopped for myself, bought perfumes, makeup, and shoes. I went to parks, had picnics, and bought myself flowers. I had a great time and all of a sudden I realise that this city is so small to break a heart as big as mine, I let it, I let this city feel like it can break me because I didnt know myself…

now, word of advise to the ladies reading this…in the words of J cole “love yourself girl or no one will”, I used to sing to the song “crooked smile” and I missed it, I missed the words and because of that, I allowed myself to stop smiling.. but this time, not only was I smiling in Potchefstroom, I came back with a big butt, a hairline, glowing skin and thick little body…YOU CAN NOT TELL ME THERE THIS IS NOT GRACE.

When I left Potch, I did something Prophetic to declare my freedom and forgiveness to what happened and maybe, some parts of me that have carried it. I stood at the border of Potchefstroom, I made a declaration: the devil no longer has power over me. He can no longer torment me with who I was when I lived there, the mistakes, the foolishness, the attachments that weren’t from God. I forgave everyone who hurt me, from the abusive and toxic relationship to the racist colleagues. And most importantly, I forgave myself…becuase, what was I thinking? anyway, it is now water under the bridge, I am so happy that I am here now.

At that border, I declared death to anything I was still connected to, anything that still made me feel ashamed and gave me nightmares, I left a suicide note, not one of despair but one of transformation. I declared the death of my old self.

Sometimes, we need to leave suicide notes for our old selves. We need to die to the habits, thoughts, and feelings that keep us stuck. Whether it’s self-pity, shame, or toxic patterns, we must let them go.

And so, this is my suicide note. I am killing the doubt, the disbelief, and the sins that have kept me from my best self. I am dying to anything that kept me in rooms I should have left long ago.

Now, let me reintroduce myself. I am a child of God, His favorite daughter, walking in grace and anointing. Angels go before me, clearing the way. I am kind, soft, and a reflection of God’s love. I am a vessel through which others will witness His glory.

My children will walk in the Spirit, unashamed of the gospel. My husband will love me as Christ loves the church, a faithful, kind, and God-fearing man who leads with strength and gentleness. Together, we will be a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

I declare all of this boldly because I have tested God, and He has never failed me. He will never let His righteous be put to shame.

And so, it shall be done, not otherwise.

Stay blessed.

oh by the way, this is how I am going to be very soon, watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBncGFCqEOA

Posted on

HEALING ME

#UNEDITED CONTENT

In January 2023, I found myself sitting in a bathtub, listening to the silence that filled the bathroom. I didn’t plan to get back to my life in the city as soon as I did but I had to leave home early for my sanity…

I was broken beyond repair, feeling like a bad person, unworthy, and mostly alone, misunderstood, and unimportant. As I sat there, I replayed the argument I had with my mother. It seemed like fighting was the only thing we got right in our mother-daughter relationship, every year especially on New Years Eve, we would be at it, this automatically made the 1st of January to be the worst for me, for 2 years (2022 – 2023), this was a time where people had new year resolutions and they were ready to tackle the next 364 days, but the 1st of January for me felt like hell, and days that followed, this happened FOR 2 YEARS.

Growing up, I accepted that mothers weren’t meant to be friends with their children because at home we were taught to never speak with elders, they are not your friends, be it an aunt, your older cousin, they are not your friends, they are elders, you respect them and do as they say. But as I got older, life isolated me. Being the firstborn, I didn’t have a sister, and while my younger siblings came to me for guidance, I had no one to turn to. I was their hero, but no one was mine. I had few friends and I often kept to myself, I thought I was an introvert due to my inability to express myself, I didn’t know it was something I needed help with.

During the argument, I barely spoke. If you know me, you know I find it hard to express myself, especially when I’m hurting or sad. I shut everyone out, disappear, and only come back when I feel like myself again (I’m working on that, though).I was silent while my mother pointed out all my faults, making me feel like I’d never done anything right in my life. It dawned on me that we would never have a healthy mother-daughter relationship. This wasn’t a one-time thing; it happened repeatedly. But this time, it hit me like a heart attack, causing damage, maybe because I was nervous about starting the year 2023 and I needed comfort than an argument.

I was now at my place and I started crying in the bathtub, accepting that we would never understand each other. Before I knew it, us not knowing each other didn’t hurt as much anymore as I have made peace with it however I had a thorn in my spirit that involved womanhood, Yes! I cried because I’m a woman who might have a daughter one day, and I have no idea how to raise a girl. I never had a sister, and the only sisterly kindness I received was fleeting, from strangers who eventually moved on. How would I talk to my daughter? How would I make her feel loved? What will I say to her when she is hurting? and that killed me inside to a point where I decided that I didn’t want kids, love, or marriage anymore. If my own blood misunderstood me, how could I trust a stranger? So, I decided to shut down, stay away, and be numb, be a corporate mogul who feels nothing.

It took me months to go home again. Even when I did, I wanted to leave quickly. I would rather be at my small bachelor apartment, it wasn’t much, but it accepted me, It made me feel safe. Every piece of furniture or food I bought felt like an acceptance of who I was, it was good enough and I felt more at home than I have ever been IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, A small apartment with no one in it but myself and my music was the only thing that made me feel safe. I can’t get into everything that happened, however I realised that parents are still learning to love themselves too. They’re human, still learning to accept change and fight their demons. I was a daughter trying to please everyone, and they got used to it. When I finally learned to say no, it was too late, resulting in conflict. I apologised when I was wrong and even when I wasn’t, but it never worked. Before you judge me for letting the relationship burn out and not going home for a while, please understand that it affected my mind and how I accepted love from people, I never thought someone would like me just because I am me I thought I had to do something first and then get an approval, I didn’t feel the way I feel about myself now and I am glad I can finally write about it. I was making videos with words I needed to hear, and  I was preaching, comforting people with words I yearned for.

Back to the tub. After crying, feeling sorry for myself, I decided to get my laptop and play some music. Gospel music always helps, especially Maverick City. I search and played “Isaiah Song” on YouTube Music, but for some crazy reason, “The Healing” by Blanca and Dante Bowe followed, I wanted to repeat “Isaiah Song” because its my favourite but I was too tired  to get out of the tub, reach for my laptop to stop the song that played after (The Healing” by Blanca and Dante Bowe) so I just let it play . The first time I heard this song, I cried so hard my whole-body shook. The lyrics spoke for me. I needed God to heal how I saw myself as a woman, a daughter, and a child of God. I needed to see myself the way God sees me. I’m a fighter, but I had no fight left. Why continue if there’s nothing good about me to fight for? I was through

There’s a line in the song that says, “Healing me, you’re healing me.” I surrendered. Like I said…I had no fight left, nothing to give. Right there in the bathtub, God reached me. I wasn’t in church or home cell; I was a broken girl in a bathtub when God embraced my heart. I felt healing, like I mattered, and could carry on. I put the song on repeat, letting the lyrics make a statement for me since I couldn’t speak, I remember saying to the holy spirit “the word says you pray for us when we don’t have the words to say, I think you’re helping me now to say all I want to say through this song, THIS IS MY PRAYER, this is my statement, I am tired of being broken and bruised, make every part brand new” …repeating the lyrics of the song, like a prayer… a statement, a declaration.

I got out after a while, with blood-red, swollen eyes, and accepted Christ to mend me and everything broken. I accepted Christ to teach me what love is afresh. I started learning how to speak. I’d come home from work, invite the Holy Spirit, and start speaking. At first, it was hard, but it got easier, and I felt lighter. I never knew how to scream in anger or pain. I would just be silent and let tears flow. But one time, I cried out loud, “I need you, God. I really need you,” so even hell would recognise that I was calling on my God… the very first time I screamed in pain was when I called to God telling Him that I need Him, the first time I ever said the words “I NEED YOU” was when I cried to God, the very first time…

It took time before I went home again, and even then, I gave up on trying to be okay with my mother or anyone else in the family for that matter, I just wanted to be alone, initially the plan was to do bad all by myself but mercy said “Nah, not today mami”. I gave God full control.

Today, my mother and I have established a relationship. I don’t know how we got here, it just happened, now we can talk, laugh, gossip, and share beauty tips. We can sit and drink tea, just the 2 of us, though sometimes I have dreams of us arguing or not being okay like we used to, I just wake up and pray about it. We are friends… Generational Curses are breaking, bit by bit

Something amazing happens when you let God reach you. When you let go of all fight and power, and let Him have access to you, He has a way of putting you back together. You won’t even recognise why you were crying or why you were a mess. Rely on God; no one else can mend you like Jesus can. Let God be God.

Typing this now, I’m crying again, but these are tears of joy, not pain and rejection. I’m crying because God found me when I thought I wasn’t worth anyone reaching out to. He healed a pain I was willing to accept and live with. I was willing to live with no connection to my family and the world, but God didn’t want that for me. He healed me. I wasn’t looking for healing that day, I was looking for music to ease the pain for a little while, just enough to get me by, I was looking forward to live, bruised and broken as long as I am functioning, its okay. I wanted to be numb, and I apologise to anyone I met before this encounter, I might have bled on you when you are not the one who even cut me, I might have made you feel the same way I was feeling, when your intentions were pure, I couldn’t have recognised it because I lacked love and compassion for myself… for that I am sorry. Now anyone who comes into my life to hurt and destroy, be it family, close friends, colleagues, I dont even care who they are, they end up hurting themselves because I am at peace, at a place where I know who I am in God and who fights my battles, I am not reciprocating negative energies, I let people fumble me on their own, I dont help them hurt me anymore, I am liberated…You can tell, if you knew me then and you meet me now, you will tell that there is a shift and thats what God does, He breaks the foundation, the root of your pain so good that it has no ability to rule your life anymore. He does the same with relationships that are toxic, He breaks the alter so good, He turns the foundation into powder that going back is no longer an option…

God is never too late to help, I am glad I had this encounter on my own, no Pastor or mentor infused this experience, God found me yal, face to face, one on one, me and Him and all the things I thought He didn’t care about, I found out that day that He loves me and that was the first time I was sure that I can hear God speak, so clear and assuring, so peaceful yet powerful, His presence made the whole room feel like it doesn’t exist, I even forgot that I have nothing on, that I am in a bathtub, everything about me or who I thought was disappeared, it was me and God and HE MADE ME WHOLE 😢😢😢😢

He is my healing.

For those who want to hear the song, see the link below

Posted on

Don’t Fall in Love with Me

Hear me out.

I am not the one to fall in love with if you don’t want me calling you just because. I want to hear your voice during the day—on your good days or your bad days. I want to hear about it all. I want to know that you’re okay, and when you’re not okay, I want you to be able to talk to me. Pride doesn’t win here; over here, we apologize when we are wrong. Over here, we listen to understand, not just to reply. We communicate like grown adults should.

I am not the one to fall in love with if you’re still holding on to the past. Holding on to what was, just to ruin what we are trying to build? It’s either you are here fully and ready to commit, or you leave me alone. I am not your half-time or part-time. You are not going to love me while loving another, because that’s something I will never do. I am not a coward nor unfaithful. If I have decided on you, then you are my focal point.

When I am in love and I have decided on you, I want to know that you’re safe when you have somewhere to be. So call me when you get home so I may rest my mind. When I love you, I want to know what matters to you. I want to know how you want to be loved so I may love you right. I want to know what hurts you so that I don’t contribute to your misery. I want to know the things that run in your head. Where do you go when you fade away? What makes you angry? What gives you comfort? And if you don’t want a woman to explore you this way, then stay away from me. If you don’t want to be vulnerable, over here we break those walls that we have built to keep the hurt away, because they are also keeping away the joy.

Please do not even look my way if you don’t want a clingy woman. I want to live under my man’s skin. I want to squeeze myself into his DNA. I want to invade his space. I want to breathe his air. If this is a bit too much for you, then make way for someone who will. Do not suffocate me with that nonchalant business. If you don’t want a woman who shows up, who hugs you from behind, who wants to look into your eyes, who wants to be surrounded by your scent, then I am not yours.

I am honestly a bad girlfriend. I want to do things that this generation finds awkward. I want to send my partner my favorite songs. I want to write him poems. I want to buy him something just because he mentioned that he likes it. I want to give my time and energy and love him without fear and hesitation. I want him to be himself. But it seems everyone wants painful love—the kind that claims to love you and three others, the one that doesn’t express yearning. I want my partner to know that I yearn for him.

Now, it takes me a while before I decide to be with someone. I peel off really slowly. I am an overthinker; therefore, I think of multiple scenarios before I decide on anyone. So if I choose you, then know that I looked at every reason not to be with you and still I overcame the fear. Instead of choosing you with my mind, I chose you with my soul. I don’t want to break my soul, so don’t bother me if love is a game to you. I don’t play with people’s hearts and their time. Yes, I am difficult to impress. I am not easily won over. I am not the kind who falls over every small gesture. I might require you to change your approach. I might require patience. I might not be able to tell you right away how I feel, but once I finally say it out loud, then you are mine. Now everything that concerns you, concerns me. What hurts you, hurts me.

Most importantly, if you don’t believe that Jesus is Lord, if you don’t want a relationship with God, if you don’t pray, if you don’t love your Redeemer and seek Him in everything, then leave me alone. Because here we pray and fast, here we break and loose, demons are cast out, and evil is destroyed. Don’t desire me if you don’t desire God. You are going to hurt me, and I don’t want to be hurt.

So please, don’t fall in love with me.