Posted on July 15, 2025

In Every life time

I want to meet you in every lifetime, in every chapter of my life.
In each version of my soul, I’ll find you.
And I’ll choose you again.
And again.

I want to meet you every day like it’s the first.
to tell you my name like a secret I’ve waited to share,
to hear your voice wrap around ordinary words
until they mean everything.

I want to sit beside you and talk about nothing
until nothing becomes the most sacred place we know.
Tell me about the friend you lost touch with,
about the time your skin met pavement and you learned how pain feels like flying.
Show me your tattoos I want to trace the stories inked on your skin.
Let me kiss the scars that life gave you and hear the moment you decided life was still beautiful,
despite it all.

I want your voice to become my favorite sound
until everything I hear begins to echo you.
Let me be there when the weight of the world is too much,
when silence is heavy and all you need is someone who won’t let go.
Let me be your anchor. Your calm. Your constant

I want to see you waiting at the end of the aisle,
the place where every road leads me back to you.
And I will walk toward you every time, in this life and all the others waiting beyond time.

I want all of you
The light you bring, the darkness you carry,
the chaos, the calm, the in-between. You make so much sense to me.
So much sense.

Posted on September 18, 2024September 18, 2024

live, love life

You know, life is full of surprises, I’ve finally decided to embrace one of them: I’m getting a massage. Yes,! For someone who generally doesn’t like being touched, this feels like a huge leap into uncharted territory. But lately, my body has been sending out distress signals in a language I can barely comprehend, it’s time to listen.

if you been reading these little inserts about my life, you know that I drive a lot, and not just in a gentle, leisurely manner. I tend to wrestle with big cars like they’re stubborn mules, trust me, my body definitely feels the effects of my rough driving. The tension has been building up like a Netflix series that just won’t resolve, so I’ve decided it’s time to book a massage at a local Thai place. My very first time, and I’m both excited and a little nervous… who will be touching this body nkosi yam? I hope they will be gentle because I am fragile.

I’m also a planner. I like to strategise every little detail before I take the plunge into something new. This meticulous approach means before I accept change, I have to analyse it first , however growth can’t happen without a little discomfort, right? Remember when I first started driving? I made a ton of rookie mistakes. I even took midnight drives around town, praying I wouldn’t end up in a horror movie scenario. But through that learning curve, I discovered how to be prepared for whatever life throws at me, I was practicing how to drive when everyone else is sleeping, thats how much I love being prepared, this is both my strength and weakness…yes, I am self-aware.

I think we all have to remind ourselves to be open to new experiences. Growth comes from stepping outside our comfort zones, even if it’s just for a little while. You don’t have to jump into the deep end headfirst; sometimes it’s enough to dip your toes in and test the waters. Life isn’t meant to be lived in the same old patterns, why not explore new opportunities and meet new people? Who knows? You might just find yourself dancing to a different tune. And trust me, it won’t hurt.

I’ve spent too long trying to secure my footing, to create a sense of stability. My past has shaped me, and while I’ve shared the struggles, it’s time for a shift. I want to revel in the adventures life has to offer, to take a step back and let things unfold naturally. I’ve sacrificed and fought hard to get where I am, and now I want to experience those delightful feelings I didn’t think existed. It’s time to be a little softer.

I have read a book by Ms Alice Walker called “The Colour Purple” and She wrote

“All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my brothers. I had to fight my cousins and my uncles. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men. But I never thought I’d have to fight in my own house. She let out her breath. I loves Harpo, she say. God knows I do. But I’ll kill him dead before I let him beat me.”

I read this as a teenager, and it didn’t truly resonate until I became a woman, understanding just how much a woman has to fight. I don’t have to fight my dad; I’m grateful for a father who listens to understand. I can’t relate to fighting with my brother; he’s a sweet boy growing into a kind man. But I have to fight men in the boardroom, reckless drivers on the road, and the fear of women disappearing and being found dead while I drive to cities I don’t even know how to pronounce sometimes. I battle the worry of being taken advantage of because of my kindness. I fight for my voice to be heard in my industry and navigate church politics tied to my position. I struggle against others’ views on how I should act as a woman of God while trying to express myself as just a woman… now thats a lot of fighting, And I am just one person.

So here’s my prayer for you: may you finally get to exhale. I hope you discover the joys of simply being sane. May your life be filled with cherished moments where nothing requires you to battle or compromise your heart. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you and allow you the space to grow. You deserve to enjoy life, to visit new places, and to connect with others who can love you just as you are.

Life can be tough, but instead of throwing lemons your way, I hope it showers you with flowers. You deserve a break—a moment to celebrate, to be held, and to feel cherished. You’ve been the friend, the supporter, the shoulder to cry on. Now it’s time for you to take a step back and breathe.

So here’s to new beginnings, to the unknown, and to the simple joy of a good massage. Cheers to feeling all those delightful sensations and embracing every beautiful moment that comes our way!

Posted on September 16, 2024

Well, that’s too damn Bad

“When Life Hands You a Shovel: A Guide to Smiling Through the Dirt”

Ever seen that movie where a boy and his grandpa are digging forever, and finally, the boy just throws in the towel and says, “I am tired of this, Grandpa”? And Grandpa, with no sympathy and a rusty shovel, replies, “Well, that’s too damn bad,” and they keep on digging. I’m feeling like that kid right now—except instead of a shovel, I’m armed with paperwork, caffeine, and the persistent hope that my smile isn’t just a tired twitch… My colleague said it looks forced, I made it look worse because how dare he, I am trying here!

This morning, I rose at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m., more commonly known as “before the birds are even thinking about breakfast.” just to make it in the city on time for work. I trudged into the office and was promptly buried under a mountain of paperwork that seemed to grow taller with every breath I took. This was after a weekend of no rest, and now, my energy levels are somewhere between “flat tire” and “deflated balloon.” But hey, I’m smiling! Why? Because, in the grand scheme of things, life doesn’t end just because things aren’t exactly lining up like the dominoes in my head.

Sure, sometimes we run on empty, and the GPS seems to have lost signal. But here’s the thing—life doesn’t throw up its hands and say, “You’re out of gas, so you’re done!” No, it says, “You’re out of gas? Cool, keep going anyway.” It’s like life’s version of the “Well, that’s too damn bad” reply.

I had a heart-to-heart with my dad on Saturday. He had just come home from giving me a mini heart attack (don’t worry, he’s fine). As I was pouring his tea (because he loves tea even on a hot day), he said, “I don’t see that smile I made.” Oh, the audacity! My dad genuinely believes that all my best features—the brown eyes, the brown skin, the small nose, and the smile—are his divine gifts to me. And while I was busy playing doctor with him, he decided to gift me a lecture. Apparently, he created my smile, but he was too busy worrying about me to see it.

We had a good laugh, and then he got all sentimental on me, saying, “I’m sorry for scaring you, but if I had to choose again, I’d still pick you because I know you’d do everything for the people you love. I might have made your smile, but your heart was crafted by God Himself.” And that, my friends, is how you get a heartfelt pep talk with a side of guilt but above everything else, dont forget the gift you are just because life is a bit sour.

Sometimes, life throws you into chaos at work, school, or home, and it feels like you’re trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. But guess what? Life doesn’t stop just because you’re exhausted, rejected, or just plain confused. It keeps moving—whether you’re dancing or knocked out on the floor.

So, when you find yourself buried under your own metaphorical paperwork or digging away with a shovel that seems endless, remember: you’re doing great. You’re worthy of a moment’s rest, a smile, and a pat on the back. Even if things don’t go as planned, keep going. Life will keep moving, whether you’re in the driver’s seat or just along for the ride. like my dad, surround yourself with people who see that even though life has been knocking you out, you are simply trying your best and may they be kind towards you.

Me and my dad? We had a bonding moment that was more about love and less about the technicalities of the stunt his heart pulled. Our parents want us to thrive, to make wise choices, and to build a legacy of resilience and love. So, even when you’re tired, overwhelmed, or just feeling like a hamster running on a wheel, remember this: life doesn’t stop. It doesn’t wait for you to catch your breath. It just keeps going. And sometimes, that’s the best reason to keep showing up and giving it your all.

So, keep on digging, dancing, and smiling through the dirt. After all, life’s too short to not enjoy the ride—shovel and all.

oh and I had writers block, thank God I can write again

Posted on February 4, 2024

I have a committed stalker

And they are consistent

Everyone has had someone monitoring them, you have had private calls invading your space, you have had strange texts and you have had people telling you that they saw you somewhere doing something.

Mine is different, I Have a stalker that calls me for hours without pause, it goes for 2 hours sometimes more and they always call after 00:00 am. I can not block these private calls because of the nature of my job so I ignore them but when I do answer the person, whoever they are keeps quiet, one time I answered and put my phone away to watch a movie, I fell asleep and realised in the morning that this person was on the phone while I was asleep. They have been calling me since 2022 and they have been consistent till date.

On the 24^th of January, someone texted me about having my nudes, now if you know me, you know that I don’t play that game, immediately when I received that whatsapp text I knew this was a stupid game, I replied that if they have my nudes they should upload them everywhere, on every social media platform that’s how sure I was about myself but when they noticed that I am unmoved they then sent me screenshots of a conversation happening on Twitter. According to the screenshot this person was bought to upload my nudes by a man who hates me, apparently I was supposed to meet with him and I cancelled yet I took his money and he got mad, apparently my man was in town and I got cold feet and he got big mad and found someone to expose me. I ignored those screenshot because obviously this is crazy and I have real issues in my life to tackle. This person then came back later with more screenshot but before he sent them to me he asked “Did you block me yet, I have something for you?” it almost sounded like he wants to continue trying to make me see that he really has my nudes, me? if he said he had pictures of me in a bikini at Mauritius then I would have thought he has something because I posted those on my Instagram, but Nudes? I chuckled, that was hilarious. This time around he sends me screenshots where he is having argument with this anonymous guy on twitter that he wont post my nudes because I look innocent, he then continues to warn me against having relationships with mentally unstable men because now he had to defend me against a man who even wants to kill me, he made it look like the guy who offered him money on twitter is some psycho who want to destroy me and because he is defending me, he now has a problem with that guy and they are going back and forth because payments were made and he didnnt keep his promise. He then sends me the conversation as it unfold where they are fighting each other because he is protecting my honor 🤣🤣🤣, as if that’s not bad enough, he deletes everything he sent me after, how do you defend me and then delete your good work?

I wanted to post these so that people know what I deal with, I am not sure if it’s the same person or multiple people but I do know that I am the one who has to deal with these people and they are sick. I am not shaken but I worry about myself, I have questions at times, who is this person? Why are they calling me? do they know me? Do they set an alarm? Are they trying to figure out something?

If maybe you are reading this and may have an idea on what to do to specifically on the private number to get information, please help me, I want to know their identity, I want to ask them exactly what are they hoping to achieve? Don’t they have a girlfriend or wife to focus on?

Its not safe for a woman out here and its scary, and if that person somehow read my blog, I hope they read this and know that with every molecule in my body I hope they slip up one day, on God I hope they cough or someone calls their name while they are silent on the phone, I pray God exposes you man, I don’t know what I will do after that, I really have no idea how I would handle that because I asked that person to talk to me, if they know me then they know how I am, all they have to do is talk and they didn’t but continued abusing me, THIS IS ABUSE.

(I have posted all these conversations here for proof)

I can not change my numbers, as I stated above, the nature of my job doesn’t allow me to and I have been using the same numbers since 2009, changing wont be so easy for me, as everything I do centers around those numbers but I will find out who this person is and may God really help me be a good person to them after that