blog – Lerato Nondeyi

University life! It’s a rollercoaster of late-night study sessions, caffeine overloads, and those awkward romantic encounters that make you question your life choices. Let me take you back to one of my most memorable varsity moments—a saga that involves a rapper, a bottle of Vitamin Water, and an unforgettable night at the Motheo TVET College Freshers Ball

Picture this: I was casually sipping on my favorite strawberry-flavored Vitamin Water when Mr. Popular Hip Hop Artist (yes, a rapper) dropped a bombshell. “I love that you love God,” he said, “but can you stop posting about it on social media?” Cue the dramatic pause. I had two options: hurl the Vitamin Water in his face or just walk away. Obviously, I wasn’t going to waste my precious Vitamin Water on this guy. So, I strutted away, leaving him to ponder his social media strategy without me but this made me feel a certain way about my faith in God and being a church girl, Am I not cool enough? maybe I should start experimenting… A rapper made me feel like I need to experiment, How did that happen?

Fast forward three months to a chilly June Friday, I had moved on from my love interest and found another, A DJ this time, something was really wrong with my choices, and the pressure in varsity was no joke, I came up with one of the lamest ideas of my life, and I ran it pass my friends. We decided it was time to let our hair down and attend the Motheo TVET College Freshers Ball. Now, Motheo TVET had a reputation for being the wild child of colleges, and I, being the responsible intern in the Marketing and Communications Department, had VIP access. Perks of working while studying part-time, you know?

So, armed with VIP tickets, my friends and I were ready to conquer the night. Little did I know, this was the night I would lose my alcohol virginity to a bottle of Savanna. Let me tell you, friends, nobody warned me that you shouldn’t chug alcohol like it’s water. And another thing, nobody informed me about the “less is more” fashion memo. While I was bundled up in layers to stay warm, the other girls looked like they missed the winter memo entirely, I felt like a nun, it was quickly starting to feel like a night of regrets but I have to suck it up, since I wanted to be “cool” and make wild memories… and this was my idea.

Our night began with hair and makeup sessions that only nerds like us could pull off (we looked like happy clowns). We arrived at the Freshers Ball, and after completing my intern duties, I joined my friends in a circle of classmates. To ditch my shy demeanor, I decided to down that Savanna as fast as I could. Not the smartest move, considering it was bought with grocery money (oh, the sacrifices we make).

Soon, I was everyone’s best friend, smoking hubbly (which I later found out I was allergic to—hello, massive headache and racing heart!). Did I stop? Of course not. The night turned into a blur of dancing, singing into imaginary microphones (a.k.a. our alcohol bottles), and becoming the life of the party. Ciara had nothing on my dance moves, folks I was on fire, we were on fire, the Old Grey’s Rugby field was on fire but still, the more I sip on this Savanna, the more I feel like I am betraying the holy Spirit, remember I had never went out partying and I had never been around so many drunk and high people and instead of enjoying the moment, the holy spirit is dealing with me severely, did I stop? No, my 21 year old mind figured I needed to drink more so that I dont hear the spirit trying to guide me…in other words, I suppressed the holy spirit.

As the night wore on, a guy suggested I sit down and drink water (wise words). My late friend Onele (rest in peace, mate) brought me food. I attacked that chicken like it was my last meal, bones and all. After my feast, I became an emotional wreck. Missing my then-boyfriend, I called him, demanding he pick me and my friends up. Cue the waterworks when he suggested a cab instead.

Amidst all this, my friends Tumi and Monde started fighting. I don’t remember why, but in my drunken mind, Monde was clearly in the wrong. The night descended into chaos. Yet, right when things seemed out of control, I felt a divine nudge to leave. Thank God, my then-boyfriend picked us up, and after a tearful ride home, he dropped everyone off and gently told me, “This is not you. You have to do better.”

The next morning was a scene straight out of a comedy-drama. My mother had left a string of missed calls, and apparently, I had called her in my drunken state, promising to make her proud before breaking into sobs. When she asked if I was drunk, I did what any good child would do—I lied. “No, Mom, just emotional because school is tough.”

To top it all off, I developed a rash from my nicotine allergy and had a nosebleed. My face swelled up like a balloon, and I felt like death warmed over. That Monday, I failed an exam I hadn’t studied for. The shame and guilt of trying to fit into a crowd that wasn’t me weighed heavily on my conscience. That night I tried to blend in by downing alcohol, but it only led to conviction and a realisation that I couldn’t escape the truth I knew. I didn’t have fun, not 1 bit, every change God had to poke me, HE DID!!!!!! Gods voice has so much authority that you can hear Him even when the DJ is doing his thing, the music is never loud enough

In the end, I knew the wild life wasn’t for me. The conviction hit me like a ton of bricks, and I found myself apologizing to God endlessly. The streets just weren’t my scene…I tried it, I really tried and the whole time everyone was having fun, I was dodging the holy spirit, I was pretending, I enjoy nothing that night but the chicken I ate to sober up, I don’t even want to think about what could have happened that night because I wasn’t drunk, I WAS A MESS and the thought that I consciously made the decision to be reckless made me feel stupid, I HATE FEELING STUPID.

I knew that this life is not for me, I wasn’t happy the whole night, I was pretending until I got my mind to believe that we are having fun, believing my own lies. Honestly I would rather be at my place, watching movies and painting my nails, but I was cold, drinking liquid that taste bad and the queue at the bathrooms was annoying, very long, I hated it. I hated the lights that were flashing, I hated the smoke that I was inhaling, I hated the guys who saw that we were chemically off balance and still tried to steal kisses and get us to leave with them. I hated that we couldn’t sit down and relax, I hated that my social battery kept running out so I drank some more, and once drunk, I hated myself.

And they are consistent

Everyone has had someone monitoring them, you have had private calls invading your space, you have had strange texts and you have had people telling you that they saw you somewhere doing something.

Mine is different, I Have a stalker that calls me for hours without pause, it goes for 2 hours sometimes more and they always call after 00:00 am. I can not block these private calls because of the nature of my job so I ignore them but when I do answer the person, whoever they are keeps quiet, one time I answered and put my phone away to watch a movie, I fell asleep and realised in the morning that this person was on the phone while I was asleep. They have been calling me since 2022 and they have been consistent till date.

On the 24^th of January, someone texted me about having my nudes, now if you know me, you know that I don’t play that game, immediately when I received that whatsapp text I knew this was a stupid game, I replied that if they have my nudes they should upload them everywhere, on every social media platform that’s how sure I was about myself but when they noticed that I am unmoved they then sent me screenshots of a conversation happening on Twitter. According to the screenshot this person was bought to upload my nudes by a man who hates me, apparently I was supposed to meet with him and I cancelled yet I took his money and he got mad, apparently my man was in town and I got cold feet and he got big mad and found someone to expose me. I ignored those screenshot because obviously this is crazy and I have real issues in my life to tackle. This person then came back later with more screenshot but before he sent them to me he asked “Did you block me yet, I have something for you?” it almost sounded like he wants to continue trying to make me see that he really has my nudes, me? if he said he had pictures of me in a bikini at Mauritius then I would have thought he has something because I posted those on my Instagram, but Nudes? I chuckled, that was hilarious. This time around he sends me screenshots where he is having argument with this anonymous guy on twitter that he wont post my nudes because I look innocent, he then continues to warn me against having relationships with mentally unstable men because now he had to defend me against a man who even wants to kill me, he made it look like the guy who offered him money on twitter is some psycho who want to destroy me and because he is defending me, he now has a problem with that guy and they are going back and forth because payments were made and he didnnt keep his promise. He then sends me the conversation as it unfold where they are fighting each other because he is protecting my honor 🤣🤣🤣, as if that’s not bad enough, he deletes everything he sent me after, how do you defend me and then delete your good work?

I wanted to post these so that people know what I deal with, I am not sure if it’s the same person or multiple people but I do know that I am the one who has to deal with these people and they are sick. I am not shaken but I worry about myself, I have questions at times, who is this person? Why are they calling me? do they know me? Do they set an alarm? Are they trying to figure out something?

If maybe you are reading this and may have an idea on what to do to specifically on the private number to get information, please help me, I want to know their identity, I want to ask them exactly what are they hoping to achieve? Don’t they have a girlfriend or wife to focus on?

Its not safe for a woman out here and its scary, and if that person somehow read my blog, I hope they read this and know that with every molecule in my body I hope they slip up one day, on God I hope they cough or someone calls their name while they are silent on the phone, I pray God exposes you man, I don’t know what I will do after that, I really have no idea how I would handle that because I asked that person to talk to me, if they know me then they know how I am, all they have to do is talk and they didn’t but continued abusing me, THIS IS ABUSE.

(I have posted all these conversations here for proof)

I can not change my numbers, as I stated above, the nature of my job doesn’t allow me to and I have been using the same numbers since 2009, changing wont be so easy for me, as everything I do centers around those numbers but I will find out who this person is and may God really help me be a good person to them after that