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My dream home

One day, I’ll wake up in a quiet farmhouse, far from the noise of the city. A place where the mornings begin with soft light and birdsong, not traffic. Where the land is wide, the air is clean, and peace is the language of the day.

I want a yard with space to grow my own spinach, in a little garden that reminds me daily of patience, growth, and grace. A few chickens roaming freely, giving us fresh eggs and gentle company. I dream of having a cat and a dog both female so that one day, there’ll be tiny paws padding across the floor, some kittens and puppies for my kids, a small family of fur wrapped in love.

I want goats, maybe a stallion if I dare to dream boldly, two cows for fresh milk, and lambs grazing quietly in the fields. Life, growing and breathing all around me.

At the back of the house, there will be a swing where I’ll sit and watch my children play as I prepare dinner or wash the dishes. And just beyond, a garage where both my husband’s and my cars are safely parked, with a Braai stand in the corner that waits patiently for Sunday afternoons. After church, he’ll handle the Braai while I make the salads, the house filled with the scent of food, grace and calmness.

I want a big tree in the garden, you know those trees we read about in fairytales? The big, giant trees that have been part of the family for a while!!!! I want that kind of tree where we’ll host simple lunches with close friends. A small, Spirit-led circle of love, no gossip, just grace, prayer, and presence. A community that reminds us we’re never alone… good friends

In the evenings, I’ll sit with a warm cup of coffee, watching the sun set from a kitchen bathed in natural light. And I will thank God, knowing that every piece of this dream is held in His hands.

Far from the noise. Close to my heart. A farmhouse that isn’t just a home, but a quiet, sacred life.

My beautiful farm house

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The evidence of your faithfulness

Last year, today I was involved in an accident. I had no idea how, I knew that I was in the wrong, I WAS WRONG. Few days after this accident were difficult. I had kept it away from my best friend (at that time, I decided to part ways and that’s a story for another day) and family (because for some reason I felt like they shouldn’t worry about me yet I worry about them, crazy huh? ) I had never been in this predicament, I was scared, nervous and guilt consumed me.

“How can I not be able to be careful with a car that God blessed me with? Why of all places, I wanted Mochachos fried chips? I should have just had lunch at work.”

These were words that ran in and out of my mind every time I was silent, they haunted my dreams, I felt like I failed Ruu (That’s short for “Ruach HaKodesh” the name I gave my car, it means Holy Spirit because it’s white” I was so hard on myself, I failed Ruu, I am a reckless driver and when the insurance declined my claim, I then had to deal with finances to fix this car alone. I just paid up all my debts, now I need a loan of which I took 2 (they are all currently paid up)

My baby was ripped apart, I could see parts of her that I didn’t want to see and I drove her like that to the garage, it was at this garage where I called a friend of mine and asked him to pretend to be my husband so that I don’t get scammed (you know yourself and for the kindness you showed me, may God increase you and all that you do, a lot of people walk away and that’s why I dont bother them, you were a stranger but you stayed, thank you”

Now, my baby got fixed and now the biggest task was to drive after that accident, I fetched her alone and I remember in the car I said “God, this car will never be in an accident of any sort or any car I will drive, all the cars I will drive will never claim a life, not mine or anyone else’s, just because I am sitting on the drivers seat, no harm will be done to me, the car, other drivers and pedestrians around me” and then after that prayer I had to cast fear away because I knew where it came from..

I’ve never and will never be involved in anything of that manner, and this I declare in Yeshua’s name.

You’ve heard of this story before but tonight I just don’t want you to read it but to see the goodness of God in it and how things will happen but will never be the end of us. I want you to see the evidence of His presence that even if I didn’t know anything about cars, He gave me a friend who did even for that moment, I want you to see a God who speaks in the little things we think are normal but are actually a trauma response and how He makes you see it so that you may be healed from it (because how could a person be in an accident and not tell people who she loves? See sometimes we grow up and we don’t realise that our parents are learning too and sometimes they will keep on repeating trauma , passing it on to their children and we pick that trauma up and think it’s normal for a child to be dependent on themselves)

I want you to see not an accident but Gods way of showing me what love is, how I wanted to do right by baby Ruu, how I made time and research to make sure that she was okay and fixed, how I left the insurance at a time I felt was right so she may have the treatment she deserves, I understood then that love will never leave your side, after the accident I’ve been extra careful how I treat my baby, I couldn’t stop saying “I am sorry” to a car! I was apologising to a car! Feeling guilty about not being cautious and making a promise that I will drive safe, this is what the bible means “love is not prideful” love apologises when it’s wrong, love wants to give you the best of what it has and that’s how I saw the Fathers love towards me. They had to remove 2 doors from Ruu, I had an option to buy second hand but I chose brand new doors because I love Ruu, I wanted the best parts for her so this is why the Father, my King keeps working on me, He wants me not to just function but live at my best.

I want you to see a God who put me back on my feet again. I was laughing thinking about it, where did I get all that money to fix Ruu in 2 weeks and I remembered that I made 2 loans, I EVEN FORGOT THAT I HAD A LOAN.

So please listen, there is never a place where you will be and God won’t pull up for you, He knew you will be there before you did and He allowed it to happen because He knew you would take it… honestly sometimes the things that happen in our lives are just consequences of our own actions and we need to go through the refining process so we may learn and be better but still, He will never leave you in that valley just like He didn’t leave me when He knew I caused that accident

The love of the father ❤️ is just so deep that He looks pass what we’ve done and He focuses on our hearts and not the mistake but like a Father, God will discipline you, like the bible says in Proverbs, teach a young man the ways to live while they are a child so that when they grow they won’t depart from it (I forgot the chapter and verse)

Now, when you look at me, when you read my uploads please see the evidence of the presence of God, please see the goodness of God and do not ever limit my God the weaknesses you know about me, please don’t measure Him according to the things you know about me, even if you saw me fight (God is still working on that part of me) laugh at a child fall (I am still letting go of dark humour) do not limit my God according to how you feel about me… the God in me is still great even if you don’t like the way I talk.

Now, in January I cried more than I have in all the 2024 months combined but these were different tears. Something happened home in December that made me realise that the way I behave in certain scenarios that involve emotions is really bad and after speaking about it to a few people (2 Pastors, 2 therapists and myself) I realised that I have detachment issues and they have cause a certain reaction to problems that involve emotions and if I want to be a great mom and wife one day, I need to work on them. I had to look into the root and accept it so I may not pass it on to my kids.

There I was realising that I am going head on with a demon that has been tormenting the women in my family and I have to stand against it for the sake of my kids.

I call that period a blessing because I got to see that God was speaking though people around me way before it happened and it was the same message that I hated to hear and it was said by different people. I am not an angry person, so where does this need to fight for myself come from? Why can’t I ask for help? Why do I cry when I am angry and why am I angry? I never used to cry so much, which part of me found freedom to know it’s okay to feel and be vulnerable and why did I think crying was a sign of weakness? And why did I think I should be weak?

I am learning, I am open to corrections and I want to be better, so me and King Jesus have been polishing some rough edges. I am working on breathing techniques too for panic attacks even though I am healed from anxiety (I will speak this even when I am having an anxiety attack so that the devil knows that I believe in my healing even when I am grasping for air) I am learning to let go of control, I am no longer in my head about the things I can’t control or I’ve lost when I didn’t know better… I am learning to forgive certain decisions I’ve made when I had no idea what God wants to do.

So if you met me more than 5 months ago, I apologise for being difficult, the walls I built were not all necessary, some were an indication of help but I am glad that it happened because God had to protect you from me, there were parts of me I wasn’t ready to deal with because dealing with them meant facing the truth which I was trying my best not to tackle. I thank God that He saved you from me because I would have given you the “silently and secretly hurting” version of me who believed that everything was okay when it was not and you wouldn’t have been able to save me in any kind of way, as a friend, as a partner, as a confidant or even a neighbour. I was not equipped to handle certain emotions and I could have given you the same spirit I needed deliverance from.

God is forever good, my mind hasn’t changed about Him even whenI don’t blog much, like I said… I was giving from an empty cup and I promised myself that I will never do it again, so be patient with me while I go through this session (attending therapy and just diving deep into who I am without things that happened or where I come from) because I want to be able to come to this platform and give you the best of what I got not what I hope to get.

About this platform, I might delete every entry and start in a different platform, more private and with good features. I haven’t decided yet if I want to complete delete this account or keep it but I know that this platform is not working anymore and it’s time to move. No sweat, I will announce it when I all set and ready.

I’m the evidence of Jesus unfailing love, that He will leave the 99 for 1. I am evidence that we all look put together but we are not, it’s grace that hides us from the world so much that we look like we have it all together, it’s all in His grace. I am the evidence of His faithfulness, when you see me, please be reminded of Gods faithfulness that He is true to His word, If He spoke it, it will never be reversed, no evil above the earth or under will stop it, so if He loves, there is nothing even you can do about it

Dear reader, I love you

⚠️⚠️please take note that I didn’t edit this post, I am typing from my phone and I have no idea how many grammatical errors I’ve made, just please read through them, see my heart because I am expressing this message straight from my tiny heart.

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I love the way you are with me

I have looked into the mirror of my soul and found it fractured, a thousand reflections, none of them kind. I see myself and I ask: Am I worthy? The question lingers, heavy, as my mind spins in circles of doubt. Perhaps it’s the weight of my own choices, or the poisons I’ve let into my life, or the silence of my body speaking in ways I don’t understand. But in truth, I’ve been reckless. I’ve been untethered, unhinged, and there are moments I wonder if you should be this close…aren’t you afraid of me like everyone else?

The shadows rise, the voices in my head speak clearer than ever, louder than ever. I am wrestling with myself, trying to heal the wounds of a girl still hiding in the dark corners of my heart. I am guarding her fiercely, do not mistake it for distance. It is not a game I play with you. There are parts of me you may never understand, yet you do not walk. You are consistent.

You hold my hand. In the crowd, where everyone sees, I expect you to let it go, you tighten your grip. You open doors for me, though you know I’m not accustomed to such kindness. But you do it anyway. You do it with patience, with grace, with love. You see the storm within me, and you choose to stand beside me, not to flee from it. You’ve learned my silence, my language of hesitation, and you speak to me without words, you are not a slave to your pride when it comes to me. You bring war to an end to save me.

I love the way you are with me.

When my nerves cause me to bite my lip, you notice, and without hesitation, you calm the tremors in my hands. You do not retreat when I try to pull away, nor do you ask for time, for space. You stand by me, steady and unwavering. Every day, I am in awe of the way you are with me. You speak softly, but your love is loud enough to fill every corner of my heart. You say you are proud to have me, and in those words, I find a home; a place I have never known. No one has ever looked at me and said, “I am proud of you,” but you say it, and I believe it. You call me amazing, and somehow, you see the woman I have been too afraid to see. How did you know? How did you see through the walls I have built?

You do not shrink from the challenge I am. You do not remind me of the ways I am difficult. Instead, you kiss my forehead, tenderly, as though you already know that I have fought, and I have struggled, and I have fallen. You buy me flowers, and you tell me, “We have time. Forever is a long time to figure us out.”

No one has ever seen beneath my masks. No one has ever taken the time to see me for who I am and loved me anyway. No one has ever been ready for me the way you are. You have prepared for us, for the long road ahead. You have prayed, you have fasted, you have cleansed your heart, and you have loved me before I even knew. You are not passive in your pursuit of me, you show me that you yearn for me, you are relentless, steadfast, unafraid of the work it takes to love me.

I love the way you are with me.

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I LOVE IT ALREADY

Happy New Year, my friend. Yes, I know I am late. By now, you are probably tired of hearing “Compliments of the New Year,” but I still want to send my heartfelt wishes your way. I hope this year brings you joy in abundance. I pray you soar in love and find yourself embraced by peace. I love this for you and I want you to believe it for yourself.

This is your year. Go back and try again where you have failed before. Pick up the things that once defeated you. This time, you will win. This year is different. It is restorative. What was lost will be restored and there will be plenty. Trust me, you will not lack. You will not bury a loved one. You will not feel alone. Love will find your heart after pain. Your heart, once numb and cold, will come alive again. It will beat with purpose and joy, more than just pumping blood to keep you going.

As for me, I love 2025 already. It started with hard truths that I could not avoid. Truth hurts, but it also sets you free. I am lighter now because I faced it.

We all carry questions about life. We wonder about family, careers, and the plans we make. We ask why some things do not work out the way we hope. Despite our achievements, there are voids that linger, leaving us curious about our place in the world. We wonder how others see us and whether they view us as blessings. It is a strange feeling to discover that not everyone does.

But that is also a moment of clarity. It is when you stop living for others and start living for yourself. I pray you never find yourself trapped in someone else’s expectations. Do not waste your life trying to please people who will always find fault. This year, choose to live your truth. Forget what they say or expect. Their opinions will change, but your life is yours to live.

For me, 2025 is all about stepping into a new season. Money flows to me effortlessly. I am never lacking. I have enough to take care of myself and plenty to share with others. This year looks good on me. I am checking off every goal with ease. I am excelling in all that I do, producing excellent results with grace.

I am the right choice in every room I walk into. Opportunities are drawn to me. My destiny helpers are everywhere, always ready to lift me when I need it. Love surrounds me completely. It is the kind of love that heals and restores. It is safe, secure, and pure. It brings me closer to God and helps me see the beauty in myself and the world.

This year is going to be exciting, a little scary, and completely powerful. I am ready for all of it.

Challenges will come, as they always do. They will test your faith and your patience. When that happens, lean into who God is. Read the Word and learn more about the King of Glory. Believe in His plans for you and trust that you deserve the blessings coming your way.

This year, you will see many happy moments from me. I hope to see just as many from you.

No matter what happens, hold on to God. He is the anchor and the one who restores all things. Here is to 2025, a year of fresh starts and big wins. Let us embrace it fully and make it count.

DO NOT LET GO OF GOD

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Suicide Note

Ladies and gentlemen, lets gather here to pay our last respect, to all the things holding us back, may they rest in peace…

but first…..

I’ve been thinking about everything I was able to do this year, the things I never thought I would feel and the things I have learned not to feel. It has been a long journey of self-discovery, and I am proud of myself for how far I’ve come. Of course, I didn’t do it alone. I cannot take the credit; all the glory goes to God. Even though there are things I didn’t receive and places I didn’t reach, I remain hopeful. And though some dreams were delayed, I am still grateful.

This year brought me through so much, from surviving an accident to relocating, navigating academics, and experiencing spiritual revival. I’m most proud of allowing myself to truly feel this year. Yes, believe it or not, I allowed myself to feel, and what a rollercoaster ride it’s been. But here I am, standing, and I’m glad to announce that I do, in fact, have a heart, and it still works. It feels emotions I don’t even have names for.

This year, I fell in love. I faced my anxiety head-on. I discovered who I am outside of anyone else’s validation or feelings toward me, and I stuck to it. I fell in love all over again with my dreams, my passions, and my faith. For the first time, I embraced my feelings and learned that it’s okay to have them.

Since 2020, my timeline has been a blur. Those years, 2020 to 2022, felt like I was on life support, alive but not truly living. I could hear everything around me but had no control over my life. Those years were about healing and discovery, though not all discoveries were easy or pleasant. I uncovered things about myself that broke me and brought me to my knees. Those revelations led me to surrender, to open myself up to God completely, and He showed up for me in ways I never expected.

2023 became a year of stepping out of healing and stepping back into life. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t know how or where to start allowing new things into my life as I transitioned into adulthood. So, God did what only He could: He separated me from a lot, from toxic bondages, friendships, and habits. He gave me the courage to attend therapy, and through that, I began to discover a version of myself that I truly love.

The people who met me this year met the best version of me, and it’s only the beginning. I’m proud to say I am at a good place. I love the reflection of prayer and healing that I see in myself. I’m not perfect, and I don’t aspire to be. What I aspire to is being happy and at peace with myself. God spent so much time with me this year, reminding me that there is nothing wrong with me. I am His perfect creation.

Now, back to murder: killing things that really need to be buried…

I’ve stayed too long in situations where I was mistreated. I’ve accepted countless apologies and taken people back who fumbled me, but not anymore. I’ve learned that I don’t have to. Love stays, it doesn’t leave and expect to be taken back. And I am learning not to go back either. If you give me a day to live, to tackle life without you, to figure it out on my own, then I will, even if it breaks my heart. And when I do, I won’t come back and you don’t have a right to ask me how did i survive or what did the sharks do to me when you left me in the middle of the ocean to drown, leave me alone like the way you did, it should be easy, right? you’ve done it before… stay away

This year, I also returned to Potchefstroom, a city I once hated, a place that felt like a prison for two long years. Those years were filled with nightmares, a toxic job, and an abusive relationship. I stayed in both, believing I didn’t deserve better. But this year, I went back not to relive the pain but to reclaim my power. I shopped for myself, bought perfumes, makeup, and shoes. I went to parks, had picnics, and bought myself flowers. I had a great time and all of a sudden I realise that this city is so small to break a heart as big as mine, I let it, I let this city feel like it can break me because I didnt know myself…

now, word of advise to the ladies reading this…in the words of J cole “love yourself girl or no one will”, I used to sing to the song “crooked smile” and I missed it, I missed the words and because of that, I allowed myself to stop smiling.. but this time, not only was I smiling in Potchefstroom, I came back with a big butt, a hairline, glowing skin and thick little body…YOU CAN NOT TELL ME THERE THIS IS NOT GRACE.

When I left Potch, I did something Prophetic to declare my freedom and forgiveness to what happened and maybe, some parts of me that have carried it. I stood at the border of Potchefstroom, I made a declaration: the devil no longer has power over me. He can no longer torment me with who I was when I lived there, the mistakes, the foolishness, the attachments that weren’t from God. I forgave everyone who hurt me, from the abusive and toxic relationship to the racist colleagues. And most importantly, I forgave myself…becuase, what was I thinking? anyway, it is now water under the bridge, I am so happy that I am here now.

At that border, I declared death to anything I was still connected to, anything that still made me feel ashamed and gave me nightmares, I left a suicide note, not one of despair but one of transformation. I declared the death of my old self.

Sometimes, we need to leave suicide notes for our old selves. We need to die to the habits, thoughts, and feelings that keep us stuck. Whether it’s self-pity, shame, or toxic patterns, we must let them go.

And so, this is my suicide note. I am killing the doubt, the disbelief, and the sins that have kept me from my best self. I am dying to anything that kept me in rooms I should have left long ago.

Now, let me reintroduce myself. I am a child of God, His favorite daughter, walking in grace and anointing. Angels go before me, clearing the way. I am kind, soft, and a reflection of God’s love. I am a vessel through which others will witness His glory.

My children will walk in the Spirit, unashamed of the gospel. My husband will love me as Christ loves the church, a faithful, kind, and God-fearing man who leads with strength and gentleness. Together, we will be a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

I declare all of this boldly because I have tested God, and He has never failed me. He will never let His righteous be put to shame.

And so, it shall be done, not otherwise.

Stay blessed.

oh by the way, this is how I am going to be very soon, watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBncGFCqEOA

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It’s a pretty rare happiness that i know

This might be a little long but I am at a point where I feel like people knowing my truth is the beginning of me living, no more cropping, editing or filtering, the picture is perfect AND I LOVE IT HERE

It’s 02:30am on a Saturday morning, and I just finished cleaning my apartment. My brother is visiting, and I know if he finds it dirty, he won’t respect it or me the way I hope he will. I started cleaning at 6:30 p.m., and as I was cleaning I was also listening to sermons by Pastor Stephanie Ike Okafor. Her sermons have been playing nonstop, and I thank God for using her to share His word which came as a conformation in my life, God has a beautiful way of reaching to us.

As I am cleaning, I found myself asking God questions, questions that came from a place of doubt and insecurity. I wondered, “Have I lived enough?” It was a silly thought, but it came from something I noticed earlier in the day while scrolling through WhatsApp statuses. I saw my colleagues at a work function, a closing party. They were singing along to amapiano songs, word for word, smoking hubbly, and sitting in circles. They seemed to be having fun and I knew immediately that if I was there, I would be a spoilsport.

And there I was, realising I wouldn’t fit in. I don’t know the lyrics to any amapiano songs. I’m allergic to nicotine, so I couldn’t sit in a hubbly circle. I couldn’t even imagine dressing the way they did and they looked beautiful but that’s not me. But even with all this, I still felt bad like something was wrong with me for not fitting in.

For years, I’ve struggled with this feeling of not belonging. I’ve tried to fit into crowds, which led me to people-please. I would downplay my love for God, hoping that if I seemed more like everyone else, they would accept me. I just wanted to be seen. But I was going about it the wrong way.

Thank God for His Word. Through these sermons, I was reminded that my identity is in God, not in the world. I don’t need to fit in with others because I belong to Him. In John 15:19, Jesus said, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.” That verse reminded me that it’s okay to be different because God has set me apart.

Someone asked me recently why I only write about God and love, and not about things like drugs, sex, or nightlife, the things they said are “exciting.” My answer was simple: I don’t know anything about those things. For years, I felt bad about that, like knowing only God wasn’t enough. I thought I needed to know how to flirt, party, down shots, be cool like but or sin just enough to relate to people. I thought I needed to write about those things to seem cool. But this year, God has been working on my heart. He’s showing me that knowing Him is all I need.

I’m not perfect. I struggle with faith, sin, and self-esteem like everyone else. Sometimes God tells me to do one thing, and I do the opposite. But even in my weaknesses, God’s grace is enough for me. Isaiah 43:1 says, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.” That’s who I am, God’s baby girl. Fragile, cautious, and sensitive, but His. And that’s enough for me.

So, to anyone reading this, I won’t apologise for not fitting in. I won’t write about things I don’t know. What I will write about is God’s work in my life, how He corrects me, speaks to me, and reveals Himself to me. I’ll write about the things I love: academics, art, photography, books, and the life God is shaping for me. One day, I’ll share stories about being a wife and mom, and you’ll see how God is still working in my life.

I can’t give you gossip, updates on the latest trends, or wild stories. But I can give you honesty about my life and in my life, God is at the centre of everything. Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I’m still a work in progress, and that’s okay.

So, please stop asking me to go clubbing or hang out at car washes…I won’t go. Don’t expect me to know the latest music or fashion trends. I am clueless, I am not interested, I just want to watch Kdrama on weekends, do my laundry, read a book, journal, enjoy filling in colours on my colouring book, watch Tik Tok, listen to sermons, take walks, listen to music, and I’m finally okay with that. I’m a little boring, a little weird, and a lot of “Miss Goody Two-Shoes.” But that’s who God made me to be, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now, I know this is not fancy but that’s my truth and I would want you love me for who I am not and I wouldn’t want to live up to an idea of me that I created to fit in

Merry Christmas, and may God bless you in everything.

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PLAYLIST

May these beautiful songs bless you like they’ve blessed me… in no particular order, some are very new while others may sound familiar…regardless, these songs have led me to prayer and intense worship the past few days and I pray a miracle may happen in your life, that your prayers may be answered and that you may testify soon .

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Happy Birthday to me

This month, my birth month, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and joy. Today, I woke up with my heart full of thanks. I am here. I am blessed. I know my life is a testimony, a story that speaks of God’s grace and love.

Growing up, I didn’t have wealth or status, if anyhting they made fun of our household, a family of plenty that lived in a huge shack, God turned that huge shack into a big house, I thank Him everyday. My childhood was simple, filled with small joys and big dreams. I remember being nine years old at my aunt’s graduation. I didn’t fully understand what a graduation meant, but I could feel the pride and excitement in the room. Right then, I knew I wanted that feeling too, I wanted more . I just didn’t realise how much sacrifice, hard work, and self-discipline it would take to reach it. Now, standing where I am, I thank God for every bit of perseverance He has given me and for blessing me with a kind heart.

For anyone who knows me, kindness and gentleness are constants. I’ll smile at you even if I know what’s been said about me. I’ll give love, even when it’s rejected. I didn’t learn this alone but from the beautiful, God-fearing women who raised me. We didn’t always have much, but we had love. I watched my aunts and cousins share even the smallest things with one another. In those moments, I learned that love is enough.

Sometimes, I’ve felt disappointed, expecting that same love from others. But I’ve come to see it as a gift to be soft in a world that can be so hard, to be kind when hate is everywhere. This is a blessing.

As November 22, my birthday, approaches, I look at my life and am overwhelmed by how far God has brought me. When I sit in my car, I thank God because there was a time when owning a car seemed like a distant dream. Sitting in my own apartment feels like a miracle. Being a Master’s candidate, pursuing a dream I once thought was out of reach these are blessings I never saw coming.

There was a time when I thought my story might end in disappointment, especially after failing matric. But God had a different story for me, and He’s still writing chapters I never expected. I’m learning to accept the blessings around me, to live fully in this reality, and to trust that God has even more for me.

Here’s to more years of learning, of loving, and of living with a grateful heart. Thank you, Lord, for this life, this testimony. Here’s to all the moments yet to come.

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A Tribute to Good Men: Guardians of Kindness and Strength

When a man truly intends to honor, support, and protect you, no force on earth can shift his resolve. This post is dedicated to all the good men out there those who lead with kindness, integrity, and a thoughtful spirit. You deserve the best that life has to offer. May your days be filled with light, may your paths be abundant, and may you find a partner who radiates beauty and grace, enriching your journey as much as you enrich hers.

Recently, I found myself in a bind. I’d missed a few sessions with my study supervisor, and he wasn’t too pleased about it. To make things right, he assigned me a project and insisted that I submit it to his office in person or just make a way to submit a hard copy, I could sense in his tone that he just wanted to give me a hard time, which I understood . But I was away, miles from home, and unable to comply. Frustrated, I vented to a friend, a man who is always calm . Hearing my predicament, he simply responded, “Send me a soft copy of your project. I’ll print it at work and submit it for you.” His tone was steady, reassuring, and filled with quiet strength. Just like that, my problem was solved. normally I don’t ask for help, I am too independent that I find ways to do things for myself but he was very firm and dominant, I just felt safe

In a world where it’s all too easy to dwell on those who manipulate and deceive, we sometimes overlook the men who act out of genuine care and unwavering support. There are men who won’t rest until they know you’re safe and at peace. These are the men who pray for you, who stand by you in times of difficulty without complaint, who make you feel cherished and understood. They give selflessly, not out of obligation, but out of love and a desire to see you thrive.

Just yesterday, a male colleague shared something that resonated deeply: “A man knows and because he knows, he will act.” I see this truth embodied in my father. He has always been a source of strength and stability, bringing warmth to my darkest days. As a child, I’d run to him when things went wrong, knowing he’d make everything okay. His devotion to my mom is the greatest gift he’s ever given to my brother and me, teaching us by example what it means to be a loving partner and a steadfast father. He may not be the wealthiest or the most educated, but he’s ensured we’ve never gone to bed hungry or witnessed harm in our home. He simply intended to be a good man and he is.

So today, we thank God for good men who lift others up and live by their intentions. May your generosity return to you tenfold, and may your wells of kindness and abundance never run dry.

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Surrendering to God’s Gentle Protection

This might be the last post for October, and I pray to God that I can be as open and vulnerable as I need to be. Over the past few weeks, I’ve dedicated several writings to the Holy Spirit, even though it wasn’t as consistent as I had hoped. Life has been busy, with reports, AGMs, conferences, and submissions keeping me on my toes. But through it all, I remain steadfast, made of steel. So please, bear with me as I share from my heart.

To you reading this, I pray God’s everlasting love, joy, and peace surround you. I pray that you never doubt His presence in your life, His faithfulness, or His care. Know this: God answers. He is present in the moments that matter most, and He loves you deeply. I encourage you to surrender, release your pride, your need for control, and let God take the lead. From the time you wake up in the morning to when you lay your head down at night, may He fill your heart with the desires He has placed inside you. May your life be full of the love, joy, and happiness that only God can give.

These days, standing boldly in the Word of God is no easy task. The world tries to sway us, but I pray for your strength. I pray that you are filled with courage, that you stand tall as a child of God, unafraid to proclaim His name. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

I pray that the prophetic anointing over my life flows into yours. May it run like oil, bringing vision, clarity, and direction. I speak the spirit of prophecy over you, may you see what others cannot see, may you speak with divine accuracy, and may you dream dreams that carry the mysteries of heaven. May the atmosphere shift to work in your favor because the Holy Spirit is leading you. God has called us to be ahead of time, to be informed of what’s to come so that we are never caught off guard. That is your inheritance as a child of God. Receive it.

And if your heart is fragile, like mine, know that I understand. I recently found myself asking God if I should stop caring so much, begging Him to make my heart hard, to numb the pain of disappointment and the sting of indifference. But in His gentle way, the Holy Spirit ministered to me through a sermon by Ms. Jackie Hill Perry. She shared how she, too, had built walls around her heart, believing she had to protect herself. But the Holy Spirit said to her, ““Jackie you know that your guardedness is there because your trauma has trained you to believe that you are the only one that can protect yourself, I will fight for you even emotionally I will vindicate you against people, you don’t have to guard your heart at all times because I am a defender of my people”

Those words hit me deeply. For so long, I’ve believed that if anyone posed a threat to my peace or disregarded my feelings, I needed to fight for myself, to protect my heart at all costs. I’ve been the one to apologise, to go the extra mile to make things right. But through this, I’ve learned that people are not always like me, and that’s okay. God is my defender. He guards the heart He gave me, a heart that loves deeply, feels deeply, and gives deeply.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14).
This soft heart of mine, the one that sometimes feels like a burden, is not a mistake. God made it this way for a reason, and He will protect it. He will fight the battles I’ve spent too long fighting on my own. And if you’re like me, if you’ve struggled with this same fragility, I pray that you come to understand that God is also defending you. You are not too soft. You are exactly who He made you to be.

I’m grateful for the people God is placing in my life who hear me differently, who handle my heart with care, and who, like me, are persistent in love. God knows what He is doing, and I trust Him to continue working in ways that go beyond my understanding.

As I end this post, know that it has been a joy sharing with you about the Holy Spirit and hearing your perspectives as well. I pray this month has been as transformative for you as it has been for me. God is always speaking—may we continue to listen.

I love you all. Stay blessed.