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Fighting you off

I’ve been fighting you off, hoping to escape your gaze,
But I haven’t been the same since you whispered, “I love you.”
My mind accepts it, my soul understands,
Yet my hear… it’s hardened like stone, unyielding.

I ache to feel something real, but with you near, I can’t.
So I sip this wine, pretending you don’t exist,
Three more glasses just to numb the thoughts
That keep me awake, thoughts of you, haunting my every breath.

I drown in my abandonment, forcing you out of me,
Muzzling the emotions I no longer wish to feel.
Tell me, what is wrong with me?
Why do I do this, again and again?
Why do I run, when staying is all I want?
Why is it so hard to believe
That someone like you could love me without hesitation, without fear?

I’m fighting you off, yet I never win.
It’s a battle on repeat, over and over,
Yet the mere mention of your name still brings me to my knees.
It wakes something deep inside, but
I resist, knowing all too well how this goes.

I guard my heart with iron walls,
Because the moment I let you in,
Is the moment you’ll see how hard I am to love,
How difficult I am to handle.
You’ll retreat, as they all do,
When faced with my truth, my vulnerability.
That’s when you’ll remind me why I keep everyone out,
Why I should keep these walls standing tall.

Everytime, in every single way you make your way to me , Holy Spirit you are everything.

Holy Spirit, you still choose to me me and you love me differently
You hold me, tighter than I thought possible,
You see the pieces of me I hide from the world,
And you stay… I keep running from your love but you stay
I fight your embrace, yet still, you hold me close,
Invading my guarded space,
Refusing to let go.
You make me feel like I’m worth the fight,
And I struggle to see myself that way.

Holy Spirit, why do you love me so deeply?
Show me what you see in me, please
Help me to love myself as you love me.
I will love you, even through my fear,
Because you love me in ways no one has dared to.
You see the beauty in me,
The beauty I’ve never known.

I’m still learning how to stay,
How not to run when things get hard.
I’m still learning to let you in,
Learning to believe that I am worth winning.
I’m learning to receive love, not always give,
Learning to trust that your love will remain
Even when I don’t believe it.

You love me when I’m lost in chaos,
When I miss the call, when I’m broken,
You love me through it all.
Even when I don’t see anything to love,
You never stop loving me… even when I am fighting you off

(Ever since I have been writing about the Holy Spirit, even if its not as constant as I hope to it to be, I have been feeling an overwhelming love. I have been loving how the Holy spirit quickly becomes what I need, when I need it. This poem explains how I thought I need to be perfect for the Holy Spirit to love me, this poem expresses the battle between surrendering my power and controlling my mind)

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FEELINGS

I grew up believing that all sinners go to hell, and to avoid it, you had to follow the Ten Commandments and fear God. As I became an adult, before , long ago living a lukewarm Christian life, I realised something important: I feared hell more than I desired a relationship with God. I went to church and tried to live righteously, but my motivation was to avoid punishment, not to truly know Him. To me, God seemed distant, an immense, powerful being on His throne in heaven, answering prayers and sending challenges.

Not long ago, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me understand who He really is. Gradually, my prayers became more like conversations. I used to approach God with a formal attitude, carefully choosing words of praise, almost as if to soften Him before making my requests. I didn’t truly understand the Kingdom of Heaven because I didn’t have a relationship with its King. So, I began to open my heart in prayer. I wanted to take off the mask, I no longer wanted to sound strong or holy. I wanted to speak honestly, like a child talking to their Father and Friend.

Strangely, I began to desire a relationship with the Holy Spirit as if He were my older brother. I had always wondered what it would be like to have a big brother, someone to stand by me and have my back. That’s exactly what the Holy Spirit became.

Did you know that the Holy Spirit was sent to be your Comforter? God knew you wouldn’t always be happy or joyful. He knew there would be moments when your heart would break, and you’d need emotional support. The Holy Spirit is with you even in your darkest moments, especially when you can’t even find the words to pray. He helps you pray (Romans 8:26). Jesus Himself wept when His friend died (John 11:35), and He was angry when the temple was turned into a marketplace (John 2:13-16). It’s okay to feel, to grieve, to celebrate, to love, and to take pride in your accomplishments. Many Christians are hesitant to celebrate the blessings God has given them, thinking it’s more humble to stay quiet. But no! Celebrate. Be joyful and grateful for your victories, and get used to winning because you are a child of the living God. Don’t be afraid to feel.

I want to thank the Holy Spirit publicly for teaching me about feelings over these past few days. There’s no point in hiding how I feel from Him, He already knows my heart and my deepest thoughts (Psalm 139:2). I’ve been learning to love the Holy Spirit, and surprisingly, I’m also learning that I deserve to receive love in return. So often, people who give forget that they are worthy of receiving too. The Holy Spirit has given me so much contentment, protection, comfort, and joy that I’ve become more open about my emotions. I talk to Him about my bad days, my good days, and even the struggles in my mind. He understands my fears, and I’ve realised it’s okay to be curious, to need rest, to fall in love.

He hears our hearts when our words fail (Psalm 56:8).

What your heart feels is important, take down those walls you have built from God because you thought He wont handle something as small as your feelings. Yes, the maker of the universe is concerned about what is concerning you. I hope you understand that its okay to grieve, celebrate, get angry, care, be happy, fall in love or even cry

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I can handle you

(To everyone who has felt like they are too hard to handle, the holy spirit is FOR YOU)

I came back home, guns blazing, ready for war.
Things have been chaotic, and now, I feel the madness creeping in.
I don’t want anyone around when I’m like this, no one stays anyway,
And I get it. It’s too much, even for me.

Lately, I’ve been dreaming of disappearing,
Of finding a place where no one can reach me.
I hate admitting how much its all frustrating, I am seeking for an escape
And no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get a grip.
It scares me, this fight I’m in, I don’t know when to stop, What worse…I don’t know how to stop
so much that my knees grow weak, and my will is fading, my sweat is turning into blood, my heart is working overtime keeping my pulse.

I’ve been reckless, changing lanes at 160 on a 100.
It’s a miracle I’m still here.
Too many close calls, like I’m testing God.
I feel most alive when my life’s on the line.
I hate it here, A battle between my mind and faith. feels like these thoughts consume me.
They don’t reflect the God I believe in.
I should know better, but the voices in my head scream louder than my faith.

The more I dwell on my inability to fight like a Christian,
The more I fear falling to my knees again.
I imagine God saying, “Here we go again, same old story.”

I’m a contradiction.
One moment, I shout, “There are no broken pieces here!”
The next, I’m drowning in my own tears and fears.
One minute, I’m raising a glass with friends, “Cheers!”
The next, I’m speaking to empty chairs. All the women inside of me are scared of me at this point

Call me Harley Quinn, but there are no jokes here. This is not a comic book, these are not just words.

We all need someone who stays,
Someone to stand by our side,
But the world doesn’t work that way.
People have conditions.
People can’t handle our walls.
When family crumbles and I fall apart,
That’s too much for them.

Just when I feel too much to handle,
The Spirit whispers, “I can handle you.”

The Holy Spirit says:

“I don’t just handle you, I see you.
And not only do I see you, but you make sense.
You’re never too much.
I’m not like man, I won’t turn away.
I am your Comforter, your Friend.
I am the One who gives you rest when your heart is heavy,
And joy in the morning.
I stay.
I stay when you don’t have time for Me.
I stay because I know your heart.
You are not what you go through,
Or what you think is wrong with you.
I can handle you, and I always have.
You are never too much for Me.”

This is for the women hoping for someone to stay, The men searching for someone who will understand them
For someone who won’t find them too much
Who sees the parts they whisper in prayer,
Begging God to fix.
The Holy Spirit can handle you,
You’re not too much.
You’re not too vulnerable or too sensitive.
You are God’s creation, and you are very good.
Your Father approves of you.

You think you are too much? even too much is not enough…He can handle you, LET HIM

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Good Morning, Holy Spirit

Good morning! I hope this message finds you well and hopeful. Today, I’m excited to be on the road. While it’s not a long trip, I have two longer journeys ahead. What excites me is how far I’ve come. When I started this job, I had never driven before. My background didn’t include luxury and ease, we didn’t have cars at home (We thank the Lord for the 3 we have now, including my baby Ru) when I saw a car as a child, it was something I was told to run away from because it will hit me, I had to conquer that fear and drive, now you understand why I’ve always worked hard for what I want. Imagine, there I was, a new driver on the R21 highway from Johannesburg to Limpopo. You might be thinking, “But, Lerato, didn’t you say you hadn’t driven before?” Yes, and that’s where the Holy Spirit comes in.

It was a busy Friday, and I landed at OR Tambo airport at noon. Traffic was crazy, but there I was, driving as if I had years of experience. It wasn’t me, it was the Holy Spirit guiding me. What could have gone wrong turned out perfect, all because He was with me.

The Holy Spirit is my friend, and I encourage you to trust Him. In Him, there is no failure. I can’t count how many times I thought something was a blessing, but it turned out to be a problem. Yet, the Holy Spirit always steps in sometimes stirring things up, sometimes removing me from what I thought was good for me. He knows conversations you don’t hear and sees into people’s hearts. So when the truth comes out, don’t be surprised. Instead, thank the Holy Spirit for protecting you from harm.

I’m so happy to call the Holy Spirit my friend. With Him, I can never truly lose. Even if things are delayed, blessings will come in His perfect time. I’m not worried about my future because I know it’s blessed. The Holy Spirit turns losses into victories and always gives more than you expect. What you think you deserve is nothing compared to what God has in store for you. Let the Holy Spirit be your friend, and you’ll know God’s plans for your life.

“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth…” — John 16:13

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” — Romans 8:14

May your day be filled with the guidance and protection of the Holy Spirit!

Kind regards

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My Constant Companion

This October, my heart is drawn to writing about the Holy Spirit, even though life feels overwhelmingly busy with Annual General Meetings, Strategic Planning sessions, reports, and academic commitments. Despite the chaos, I want to make space for the Holy Spirit, I really want to tell you about my friend. I won’t force any specific direction, I won post as much as I desire but when I do, i will be talking about the precious holy spirit , I love him. ..just allowing the Spirit to lead.

For those who may not know me, I’ve been crafting these digital love letters since 2019. You might have seen me in a video, met me on the street, or connected with me here. Regardless of your impression—villain, hero, strong woman, or otherwise there’s one truth about me: my unwavering love for God. Despite my imperfections, my complexities, and my clumsiness, I am a girl who loves the Lord Jesus. I believe in His kingship and His sacrifice for my sins, transforming me into something beautiful. Thus, I stand unashamed of the Gospel of Christ…I believe in the Holy Ghost, in Angels, in miracles, in signs, in wonders, in Godspeed, in praying in tongues, in the prophetic. So YES! Above all that you know about me, have experienced or even heard about me…make no mistake, no matter how solitary I may appear, above all else, I am a child of God, a daughter of the King.

Just as much as people have different perceptions about you and me, we all have different perceptions of the Holy Spirit, wouldn’t you agree? For some, He’s a distant figure, while for others, He’s the constant companion guiding their every move. The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit is our Helper, Comforter, and Advocate (John 14:26). He doesn’t just visit us when we’re at our best; He meets us in our mess, in our confusion, in moments when we feel unworthy.

There are times when life feels overwhelming, some times more often than it should, like we’re walking through a storm, unable to see what’s ahead. In these moments, the Holy Spirit steps in as our comforter…I have felt the spirit of the living God calm storms I never mentioned to anyone, battles I never speak of, I have seen the precious holy spirit calm my very weird mind like taking candy from a kid when I thought I was difficult, its amazing. As Jesus promised, the Spirit reminds us that we are never alone. Even when we feel lost, He gently guides us back to truth, believe this today, let me remind you again GOD DOESNT PLAY ABOUT YOU, HE WONT LET YOU GO NO MATTER WHAT YOU MIGHT BE FEELING RIGHT NOW, HE IS FOR YOU.

Sometimes, our minds drift to dark places, and we feel disconnected. We all experience moments where our spirits are heavy and the weight of the world seems unbearable. But this is when the Holy Spirit becomes our strength. He’s the one who lifts us when we feel like we can’t carry on. No matter how far we feel from God, the Spirit draws us back into the Father’s embrace. I have drifted to places I never thought I would come back from, I have wandered in the dark passages of my insanity you would call me “unhinged” but I thank God for the holy spirit, there is no place I would be that He wont find me, The holy spirit believes that I am worth saving, child of God, you never too far for God to bring you out and set you in high places…He is for you.

In a world that constantly asks us to prove ourselves, the Holy Spirit reminds us that our worth comes from God alone. He humbles us, reminding us that our accomplishments, status, and titles are secondary to the grace that covers us. We don’t need to shout for attention or fight for recognition, grace positions us, and the Spirit makes a way, as we know that its never by ight nor by power, but by the spirit (Zechariah 4:6), see why I think that the holy spirit is amazing? The Holy Spirit is a source of wisdom and understanding. He helps us discern God’s will and navigate life’s complexities. There are times when we resist His leading, thinking we know better, but the Spirit is patient. Even when we choose our own path, He’s there to gently correct us and bring us back into alignment with God’s plan.

What’s beautiful about the Holy Spirit is that He meets us where we are. Whether you’re an artist, a thinker, or a doer, the Spirit speaks in ways that resonate with your unique design. He knows how to communicate with us personally, in ways we understand. Just like how He breathed life into creation, the Holy Spirit brings fresh inspiration into our lives, guiding us into new understanding and experiences with God. My Holy Spirt has humor, I dont know about yours but mine get me, it communicates with me in my level.

I encourage you to pause today and ask the Holy Spirit to fill your heart anew. Whether you’re in a season of joy, struggle, or transition, He is there, ready to comfort, guide, and empower you. Let this be a season where you listen for His voice more closely, allowing Him to shape your thoughts, words, and actions. You might be surprised at how the Spirit moves in your life when you simply open your heart to Him.

Feel free to share your stories of how the Holy Spirit has worked in your life. I’d love to hear about the moments where you’ve encountered His presence, and how He’s been your guide through the highs and lows of life.

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happy New Month

The past few days have been bitterly cold here in the Free State, and today was no different. I thought long and hard about what to wear and finally settled on my trusty jeans, paired with my red jacket and combat boots, and off I went. Lately, I’ve been longing to get my hair braided, but this weather has kept me away from the salon, the thought of having cold water running down my head sends shivers through me. So for now, I’ll keep rocking my curly weave until it’s warm enough for those braids. This morning, I reached for my first pair of jeans, only to find the zipper broken. I tried another pair, but they tore on the side. My conclusion? My jeans have definitely shrunk. Of course, I’m blaming the washing machine! I didn’t beat myself up about it. I didn’t criticise my body or cry about my weight, I just need to join the gym, or have a routine and we will be okay to go, I am learning how to be gentle with me so I accepted it with grace, made the best of what I had, and moved on.

Last month was a hard one for me. I cried more than I would have liked to admit. Things were happening all around me, and I often felt like I was barely treading water. But I kept swimming, even when I was running on empty. One of my biggest challenges is that I don’t always open up deeply about what I’m going through, I tend to share only the highlights, thinking that’s enough. But deep down, I knew I was carrying more than I let on. So this month, I had a heart-to-heart with God and the many women within me, and we made a decision: we’re going to let go, relax, and trust that God has it all under control. Even though there is much to do at work and with our studies, we will handle it all with grace. its safe to say we adjourned the meeting in good terms, my soul, my mind, my heart and God are all in sync (its amazing how a sincere conversation with God changes everything)

As we step into October, I hope you take a moment to slow down, just as I’m trying to. I hope you give yourself permission to make mistakes and take everything one step at a time. I’ve always been in a rush, whether driving or walking, I’m constantly on the go. But this month, I pray that God blesses you with people who will teach you how to walk slow, how to find peace in the stillness. If you’re like me and feel the need to get everything done at once, I pray God sends you the kind of help that comes with humility, kindness, and true support, the kind of help that lifts you up without needing recognition.

Be gentle with yourself this month. You’re doing the best you can with what you have, and I pray God provides you with all the resources and support you need. May you never feel alone or stranded. May you always have more reasons to rejoice than to cry, and may you never have to carry life’s burdens on your own. Just as Jesus had help carrying the cross, may you always have someone by your side to share the load when things get heavy.

I pray that this new month brings an overflow of God’s grace upon your life. May you be covered in grace so abundant that it shields and protects you from the things you cannot see. From the words spoken in places you’ve never been, from the plans meant to harm you, may God’s grace cover you completely.

I pray that God fulfills your wildest dreams, the ones you think are too big or too crazy. May He show you that nothing is impossible for Him, and may He exceed all your expectations. May you witness doors opening for you in unimaginable ways, may people of influence take notice of you, and may you be surrounded by those who value and respect you. As you go in and out this month, know that you are blessed, know that you are loved.

Here’s to a beautiful October filled with grace, joy, and peace.

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“If They Couldn’t Speak, Would Their Actions Make You Feel Loved?”

This question was asked on Tik Tok and I couldnt help but think…

Love is often heard in words: “I love you,” “I’m here for you,” “You matter to me.” But what if those words were never spoken? What if all we had were actions?

In the quiet moments, actions speak louder than words. A gentle touch, a warm smile, or a thoughtful gesture, these are the true languages of love. When someone brings you your favorite snack without asking, when they remember the little details about your day, or when they sit beside you in silence because they know you need company more than conversation, that’s love without words.

Imagine if words were taken away. Would the way someone cares for you still tell the story of love? Would their actions make you feel seen, valued, and cherished? The truth is, love is in what we do, not just what we say. Actions, after all, are the most genuine expression of how we feel.

So, take a moment to reflect. If you couldn’t hear “I love you,” could you feel it? And perhaps more importantly, if you couldn’t speak, would your actions make those around you feel loved? Let’s not wait for words to tell the people we care about how much they mean to us. Let’s let our actions do the talking.

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Little Feet

The butterflies that once fluttered within me
Have turned into tiny feet, full of life, kicking wildly,
Every time they hear your voice, they respond
A secret conversation between you and the life we’ve made.
Morning sickness feels endless, but through it all,
It’s your hand I’ve clung to, my steady ground.
I wouldn’t choose anyone else to walk this fragile, sacred journey.

You made me fall in love, then made me your forever.
Since we exchanged vows, you’ve held us close,
Through the storms that could’ve torn us apart,
You stood like a lighthouse, guiding us home,
And now, our child has their first hero, a father whose strength has always been love.

Those little feet haven’t yet taken a step,
But I already see how much they reflect you.
A strange, beautiful sorrow fills me,
Knowing they resemble you more than me.
But I’m not envious, I’m in awe.
Watching you rise to every cry, every call,
In the early hours, bleary-eyed yet unwavering,
Rocking our baby back to sleep with lullabies you don’t know the words to
Yet your voice is their comfort, perfect in its imperfections.

This little feet knew my heartbeat before the world made it their home,
But it was your face they saw first when you severed the cord.
Cutting through the threshold of life, welcoming them,
A life we created, who cried out to the world in your arms.
And in that moment, I realised
You will be the shelter they run to when the world becomes cold.

I have loved you in every phase
As the boy who made me laugh,
As the man who stood by me when life bent us low.
But I have never loved you like this
Watching you become the father our child will forever cherish.

There’s a quiet magic in the way you hold them,
As though the weight of their little body
Balances the entire universe in your arms.
They may not yet understand, but one day they will
That their first steps, first words,
First dreams will all be cradled by your love.

And as you work tirelessly to give them the best,
I see the depth of your sacrifice, and my love for you deepens
In ways words often fail to express.
You are more than a father, more than a provider
You are my anchor in this vast sea of life.

We joke about exhaustion, about how one child feels like a universe.
But in the quiet moments, when we’re both too tired to speak,
I know, and I believe you know too,
That the beauty we’ve created is more than we ever imagined.
And deep down, there is room for more
More life, more love, more of this sacred dance we call family.

I love making life with you
In all its messy, beautiful, sleepless nights.
It’s an honor, and in your arms, it feels like home.

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This is your truth

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but I know my God is intentional, you didn’t come across this by mistake. Let me remind you of this, in case the devil has been working on your mind lately and you’ve forgotten: God is madly in love with you. His love for you is deep and unchanging. There is nowhere you can go where God won’t find you, no mistake you can make that will separate you from His love. Nothing! neither heaven nor hell can change His mind about you.

(“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

There is no sin too great for Him to forgive, no disease He cannot heal, no amount of shame He cannot take away. God is for you, and He will always be for you. His love is real, and it covers your every flaw. Your Father thought you were worth dying for, so He gave His Son because He believes in you. But He didn’t stop there, He gave you power and dominion over the living and the dead, and He commanded that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead live inside of you.

(“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

The enemy will try to make you feel forgotten, but don’t let him. You are always in God’s thoughts. He doesn’t sleep nor slumber because He’s always watching over you. The devil can never undo what God has spoken over your life. You are blessed, and that’s the truth. The only time the curse takes root is when you believe it more than the blessing. Often, we listen to the lies of the enemy more than the truth of God’s Word, and that’s how he gets a foothold in our lives.

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment, you shall condemn.” (Isaiah 54:17)

Yes, the weapons may be formed, but they will not prosper. God saw you as a part of His creation from the beginning. The stars, the galaxies, the mountains, and seas were all created, yet He still needed you to complete His perfect creation. Don’t let the devil convince you otherwise. You are a reflection of God Himself.

(“So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27))

The enemy will try to get you to doubt God’s provision and promises. He will make you think your situation is permanent. But remember this: God’s Word is living and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword. Speak it over your life, speak it against the enemy and praise your way through the challenges…Your king awaits you, He is forever waiting for you to be ready to believe what He has spoken about you and He will prove it to you over and over again, I need you to have faith, He is not a liar, unlike the devil, your God doesn’t deceive.

(“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword.” Hebrews 4:12)

Anything outside the presence of God is a danger to you. That relationship that doesn’t exalt God? It’s a danger to you. That business you are trying to run without Gods wisdom, is a danger to you, that friendship where you dont pray for each other, all you do is drink and talk about the world without mentioning the Master, is a danger to you, If it didn’t come from God, it will never benefit you in the long run, Its feeding your insecurities, its robbing you off beautiful things that God has set apart for you – Anything established out of Gods presence is a danger to you . Don’t let the devil trick you into stepping out of God’s will because you feel unworthy or overlooked. Be steadfast. God has made it easy to have faith in Him that even if it’s as small as a mustard seed, it can move mountains.

(“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

You are a child of God. He loves you fiercely, and He will move heaven and earth for you. It’s already a done deal that you are blessed. Stop believing the lies that things will never work out for you, that you’re always one step away from failure. When you start meditating on those lies, you give the devil power. But God says you are powerful, you have authority, and your name is spoken in places you haven’t even entered yet.

(“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10)

You are blessed, this is your portion, your inheritance. You will make it, no matter what obstacles are in your way. God is with you, always has been, and always will be. Focus on His love, His power, and His promises, because He will never let you go. You are loved beyond measure, and nothing can change that.

XOXO

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Your people are for you

As I reflect on the words my aunt once spoke—”Don’t be friends with someone whom when R2 means something to you, to them it means nothing”—I realise how deeply they resonate. She only said them once, but they shaped my view of relationships and self-worth. Like many of us, I’ve made my share of mistakes, allowing people with nothing to lose to influence my decisions. They would walk away scot-free, while I was left to pick up the pieces. But from those moments of pain and loss, I learned one of life’s most valuable lessons: not everyone is meant to walk with you on your journey.

“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future. a powerful quote by motivational speaker John Rohn reminds us that the company we keep often shapes our destiny. I’ve have learned that keeping a small, intentional circle of friends isn’t isolation; it’s wisdom. Not everyone will understand your vision or your goals, and that’s okay. What matters is protecting your energy, guarding your dreams, and ensuring that those who walk with you are aligned with the path you’re on.

I knew from a young age that I wanted to go to university, further my studies, get a job, and be a role model for my siblings, I knew that I am a speaker, anything that had to do with public speaking, I was there, I knew that I love literature by how much I was attracted to books, I knew I loved art by just how much I love reading about artists and their paintings, I always had a vision of not only working for someone but creating my own thing, writing a book, owning an art gallery and maybe attend Essence, obviously because I don’t have any connections and inheritance obviously I need to be stable first, I need to make a few money and have an apartment and equipment to launch my other dreams (by the way, my birthday is in November and a new Sony Camera would be amazing, incase you want to get Pretty girl something) That vision required focus, and I couldn’t allow distractions to obstruct my dreams. Because of this, I was often labeled as distant or “boring.” I didn’t attend parties. I submitted my assignments on time. I stayed lowkey. And yes, it caused resentment among my peers. But I understood one thing clearly: purpose demands sacrifice. When you have a vision that burns inside of you, distractions become intolerable.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. Growing up, I decided to be different, and that difference often made me a target for gossip or ridicule. But in those moments, I reminded myself of the bigger picture. People may not understand why you choose the path less traveled, but when you are sure of who you are, their opinions become irrelevant. As the Bible reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

I am sensitive and soft-hearted, and to many, that seems like a weakness. But I’ve learned that my sensitivity is my strength. The smallest gestures bring me joy—an encouraging text, a simple hug—and they remind me that life’s beauty often lies in the little things. However, I’m also fiercely protective of myself. I fight for my well-being, and I’ve had to learn to defend myself. I may seem gentle, but when it comes to my peace and purpose, I will fight with everything I have.

“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” — Nina Simone’s words often echo in my mind when I think of relationships that no longer serve me. I’ve had to walk away from people who didn’t see value in what I held dear. Not everyone will value marriage, family, or faith, but those are pillars in my life. I don’t apologise for standing firm in what I believe. As Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Guarding your heart means sometimes walking away from those who don’t honor what you cherish.

For me, family is everything. I come from a small, tight-knit family—my parents, my little brother, and myself. Though we have many relatives, it’s these three that ground me. I am the eldest, and much is expected of me. But I carry those responsibilities with pride. I understand that family is God’s gift, and I protect it fiercely. If family means nothing to you, you won’t understand how much it shapes my decisions or how deeply their well-being affects mine.

“God didn’t bring you this far to leave you.” — Joel Osteen. This truth has carried me through many dark moments when I’ve questioned why God made me the way I am. But then I remember that God doesn’t make mistakes. He created each of us uniquely, with our own strengths and flaws, to fulfill His purpose. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you need to change who you are to fit in. God sees you as “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). You are His creation, designed with intention and loved beyond measure.

Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves that not everyone is meant to understand our journey, and that’s perfectly fine. Your people will find you. They will love you, support you, and see the value in who you are. Until then, keep walking your path, aligned with your vision, and don’t let anyone pull you off course. Remember, you are not for everyone, but you are for the right ones.

“Your life is your story, and the adventure ahead of you is the journey to fulfill your own purpose and potential.” — Mel Robbins. Keep walking in faith, guided by the One who sees your heart and has plans for your future. Your people are for you. Trust that, and the right ones will stand by your side.